How To Get 3 Year Old To Listen Without Yelling – Just How I Used Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Listen

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How To Get 3 Year Old To Listen Without Yelling
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mom, I understood that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the very best they could, yet they didn’t have accessibility to the plethora of positive parenting tools available today. How To Get 3 Year Old To Listen Without Yelling

There were a few books on our bookshelf regarding taking care of power struggles, how to discipline the stubborn child, and how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure what exactly they learned in those books, however I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of shouting, and a great deal of just plain losing control.

It was a challenging number of years. And also our relationship is still strained today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for what happened. I have actually begun to understand that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wanted to break the cycle when I became a mother.How To Get 3 Year Old To Listen Without Yelling

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach How To Get 3 Year Old To Listen Without Yelling

My own experience with positive parenting began when my first child was born. I began checking out blog posts regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and basically every other typically approved parenting method.

I began to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs satisfied. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Solving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how all of these concepts cause healthy and balanced child development How To Get 3 Year Old To Listen Without Yelling

How To Get 3 Year Old To Listen Without Yelling

During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had two teen boys from a previous marriage, and had actually experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” may seem to help temporarily. However in the long run, it was only promoting disrespect, anger as well as resentment in what was expected to be a caring parent-child partnership.

Given his background and also finding out exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying and employing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? How To Get 3 Year Old To Listen Without Yelling

First, let me inform you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Disregarding significant wrongdoing

• Offering your children every little thing they ask for How To Get 3 Year Old To Listen Without Yelling

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no limitations

You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the fact that cooperation always yields better long-term outcomes than strict control.

Moms and dads that embrace this design have actually learned to foster:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Setting healthy limits

• Developing a child’s fundamental character qualities

Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not since they are afraid of retribution if they do not … Besides, what takes place as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be listened to and valued

• Assisting kids to establish self-control

• Going deeper than simple outside compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not imagine that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and yelling. That’s how I was treated as a child, and therefore I just had no framework for anything different. How To Get 3 Year Old To Listen Without Yelling

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.

Below are a couple of the strategies Amy shares to help you to come to be the mama or dad you’ve always intended to be, as well as help your child to reach his/her highest potential.

Get to the root of the acting out

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s often simpler (as well as extra common in today’s world) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

Yet we can progress a lot farther towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs much like you as well as me. As well as often times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. How To Get 3 Year Old To Listen Without Yelling

For instance, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet matured. That implies they can go from cloud nine one minute to complete tantrum the next. So as opposed to battling a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Toddlers have little self-discipline to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that implies there is always a key feeling below it

• Most upset children are actually frightened and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that need to be addressed first. As an example, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Concentrate on addressing that huge need first.

• Validate his emotions without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re really upset due to the fact that I said we could not go to the park today. I know it’s difficult since you really really want to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, so I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if needed.

• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a big hug and also say firmly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into fists and growl. The goal is to enable him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens as well as everything in between. So let’s think about young adults in our next example … How To Get 3 Year Old To Listen Without Yelling

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we intend to obtain from our child, we need to be willing to provide first. If I am discourteous, controlling and also sarcastic to my young adult just due to the fact that I “have every right since I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you think that teaches my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or father, you can set the example and show your teenager that you value their viewpoint, as well as you appreciate them as an individual. How To Get 3 Year Old To Listen Without Yelling

This does not mean you have to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teenager to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. How To Get 3 Year Old To Listen Without Yelling

Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer service rep on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could address this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …

Just a few days ago, my two girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, as well as she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and also begun playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate any individual to fix the problem. And also yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? How To Get 3 Year Old To Listen Without Yelling

Because we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to settle conflict, and also even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everyone around us with respect, and model the behavior we want, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some visitors could be curious about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his 2 teen sons from a previous relationship. Over time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively as well, and the restoration of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.

Just how can you come to be a positive parent? How To Get 3 Year Old To Listen Without Yelling

This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be challenging to change your old ways. Little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you will not think just how much you have actually transformed, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I advise any individual that is serious about becoming a more positive mom or daddy to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. How To Get 3 Year Old To Listen Without Yelling

You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.

In her totally free webinar, Amy shares just how to get kids of every age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and also discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button below. How To Get 3 Year Old To Listen Without Yelling


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