Please note: This post contains affiliate links.
When I initially became a mother, I recognized that I wanted to do things differently than how I was parented. My mother and father did the very best they could, yet they didn’t have access to the myriad of positive parenting tools offered today. How To Get A Picky Eater To Try New Foods
There were a few books on our shelf about handling power struggles, exactly how to deal with the strong-willed child, and also exactly how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My parents don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure what exactly they learned in those books, yet I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of yelling, as well as a great deal of just plain blowing up.
It was a tough period of time. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve begun to understand that, while no person is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mother.How To Get A Picky Eater To Try New Foods
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my approach How To Get A Picky Eater To Try New Foods
My own experience with positive parenting started when my first child was born. I began reviewing articles concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and basically every other traditionally approved parenting strategy.
I began to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to have their needs fulfilled. I found out about:
• Handling power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how all of these concepts bring about healthy child development How To Get A Picky Eater To Try New Foods
In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. However he brought his own unique viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous relationship, and had actually observed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” may seem to work for the moment. In the long run, it was only promoting disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child partnership.
Given his background and also learning precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining as well as implementing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? How To Get A Picky Eater To Try New Foods
Let me tell you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Disregarding significant misbehavior
• Providing your children everything they want How To Get A Picky Eater To Try New Foods
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”
• Having no restrictions
You may see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method identifies the reality that cooperation always generates better lasting results than harsh control.
Moms and dads that adopt this design have figured out how to foster:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Establishing healthy boundaries
• Developing a child’s foundational character traits
• Encouraging children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … Besides, what takes place when they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be listened to and valued
• Helping kids to establish self-control
• Going deeper than simple outside compliance as well as focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started down the path of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and yelling. That’s exactly how I was raised, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. How To Get A Picky Eater To Try New Foods
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.
Identify the root of the acting out
I mentioned this is deep. It’s frequently much easier (as well as more common in today’s world) to think children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
However we can get a great deal farther towards fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs similar to you and also me. And also many times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. How To Get A Picky Eater To Try New Foods
For example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-restraint) is not yet developed. That means they can go from happy one moment to complete meltdown the next. So as opposed to combating a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that suggests there is always a primary feeling beneath it
• Many mad children are really scared and/or sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that should be addressed first. As an example, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Focus on addressing that huge need initially.
• Validate his feelings without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re truly mad because I said we could not play at the park today. I understand it’s difficult because you genuinely wish to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if required.
• Concentrating more on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a big hug and say loudly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into fists and growl. The point is to allow him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and everything in between. So let’s think about young adults in our next scenario … How To Get A Picky Eater To Try New Foods
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we wish to receive from our child, we must agree to give first. If I am discourteous, controlling and also sarcastic to my teenager simply because I “have every right since I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?
It is a lot easier to provide respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or father, you can set the example and show your teenager that you value their opinion, and also you value them as a person. How To Get A Picky Eater To Try New Foods
This does not mean you have to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our teen to treat us with even more respect, the very first step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. How To Get A Picky Eater To Try New Foods
Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer support associate on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can answer this with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …
Just recently, my two girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and also she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned and also returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced as well as started playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or intimidate any person to deal with the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? How To Get A Picky Eater To Try New Foods
Since we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, just how to deal with disputes, and even just how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everybody around us with respect, and model the actions we want, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.
Some readers might be wondering about my hubby, Antonio, and his 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has actually started parenting positively as well, as well as the restoration of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.
How can you come to be a positive parent? How To Get A Picky Eater To Try New Foods
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I have actually ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to change your old way of life. But little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or two from now, you won’t believe just how much you’ve altered, together with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I advise any individual who is serious about coming to be a more positive mother or father to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How To Get A Picky Eater To Try New Foods
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her materials have been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents around the world, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.
In her complimentary class, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and find out how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the cost-free class by clicking the button shown below. How To Get A Picky Eater To Try New Foods
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.