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When I first came to be a mom, I understood that I wished to do things differently than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best job they could, yet they really did not have accessibility to the variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. How To Get My Toddler To Brush His Teeth
There were a few books on our shelf regarding managing power struggles, how to discipline the strong-willed child, and also exactly how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My parents don’t understand me.”
I’m uncertain exactly what they found out in those books, yet I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of shouting, and also a great deal of just plain blowing up.
It was a difficult period of time. And our relationship is still strained today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve come to recognize that, while no person is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wanted to break the cycle when I came to be a mama.How To Get My Toddler To Brush His Teeth
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach How To Get My Toddler To Brush His Teeth
My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest child was born. I started reviewing material concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, yelling, extreme punishments and virtually every other traditionally accepted parenting technique.
I started to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I realize there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow every person to have their needs fulfilled. I learned more about:
• Managing power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how all of these ideas result in healthy and balanced child development How To Get My Toddler To Brush His Teeth
In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. But he brought his own unique viewpoint. He had two teen boys from a previous marriage, and had actually witnessed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” might seem to benefit for the moment. However long-term, it was just fostering disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was supposed to be a loving parent-child relationship.
Considering his history and discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching as well as employing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? How To Get My Toddler To Brush His Teeth
Initially, let me tell you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring major wrongdoing
• Offering your children every little thing they want How To Get My Toddler To Brush His Teeth
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”
• Having no restrictions
You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the fact that collaboration consistently generates better long-term outcomes than harsh control.
Moms and dads that embrace this concept have figured out how to foster:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals
• Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not since they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … After all, what occurs when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be heard and also valued
• Assisting kids to grow their self-control
• Going deeper than mere outside conformity and also focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also shouting. That’s exactly how I was raised, and I obviously had no understanding about anything different. How To Get My Toddler To Brush His Teeth
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually acted as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.
Find the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s often much easier (and much more typical in today’s world) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
We can progress a whole lot farther toward solving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs much like you and also me. As well as most times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. How To Get My Toddler To Brush His Teeth
A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-restraint) is not yet formed. That indicates they can go from cloud nine one minute to complete tantrum the next. So rather than dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is typically a main feeling below it
• Many mad children are in fact scared and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any basic needs that must be addressed initially. For instance, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Concentrate on addressing that big need initially.
• Validate his emotions without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely upset due to the fact that I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I understand it’s tough because you genuinely really want to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, so I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if necessary.
• Focusing too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a big hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The point is to enable him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I told you previously that positive parenting benefits any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and everything in between. So let’s talk about teens in our following scenario … How To Get My Toddler To Brush His Teeth
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we wish to get from our child, we must agree to give first. If I am impolite, controlling and also sarcastic to my teenager just because I “have every right because I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?
It is a lot easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or dad, you can set the example as well as show your teenager that you value their viewpoint, and also you appreciate them as a person. How To Get My Toddler To Brush His Teeth
This does not suggest you have to be a pushover. Yet it does imply you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teen to treat us with even more respect, the initial step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. How To Get My Toddler To Brush His Teeth
Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer service representative on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be considering. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …
Just a few days ago, my 2 young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned and also returned the swiped sticker, said sorry and requested forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and also started playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or threaten any person to solve the dispute. And also yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? How To Get My Toddler To Brush His Teeth
Since we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to settle disputes, and even exactly how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everybody around us with respect, and model the actions we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some readers may be curious about my partner, Antonio, as well as his 2 teen sons from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively too, as well as the restoration of their connection is nothing except a miracle.
Just how can you become a positive parent? How To Get My Toddler To Brush His Teeth
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to transform your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or more from now, you will not believe just how much you have actually changed, along with the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I advise any person that is serious about becoming an extra positive mom or dad to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How To Get My Toddler To Brush His Teeth
You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any number of media networks. Her products have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.
In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and also learn how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button below. How To Get My Toddler To Brush His Teeth
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.