How To Help Picky Eaters – Just How I Applied Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Cooperate

Please note: This post contains affiliate links.

How To Help Picky Eaters
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially became a mama, I knew that I wanted to do things differently than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the very best they could, yet they didn’t have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools offered today. How To Help Picky Eaters

There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning taking care of power struggles, exactly how to discipline the strong-willed child, and also just how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad don’t understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure exactly what they found out in those books, however I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a lot of shouting, and also a great deal of just plain losing control.

It was a tough period of time. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve come to understand that, while nobody is without fault, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to stop the cycle when I came to be a mama.How To Help Picky Eaters

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan How To Help Picky Eaters

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first child was born. I started reviewing blog posts concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, shouting, extreme punishments as well as pretty much every other generally approved parenting technique.

I started to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs met. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how every one of these principles bring about healthy child development How To Help Picky Eaters

How To Help Picky Eaters

Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. But he brought his own unique viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and had actually experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” could seem to help temporarily. Yet in the long run, it was only promoting disrespect, contempt and resentment in what was supposed to be a caring parent-child relationship.

Considering his background and discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining as well as employing positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyway? How To Help Picky Eaters

First, let me tell you what it does not indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Overlooking major wrongdoing

• Offering your children whatever they ask for How To Help Picky Eaters

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no limitations

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the reality that cooperation always yields much better long-term results than forced control.

Parents that adopt this design have actually figured out how to cultivate:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Setting healthy boundaries

• Building a child’s fundamental character traits

Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … Nevertheless, what happens when they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is removed?

• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be heard and also valued

• Assisting kids to grow their self-discipline

• Going deeper than simple external conformity and also concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t picture that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as shouting. That’s exactly how I was parented, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. How To Help Picky Eaters

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to countless moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.

Below are a couple of the strategies Amy reveals to encourage you to evolve into the mama or dad you have actually always intended to be, as well as encourage your child to reach his or her complete potential.

Get to the root of the misbehavior

I mentioned this is deep. It’s usually simpler (as well as extra typical in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

Yet we can progress a lot more towards solving power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs much like you and also me. And also most times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. How To Help Picky Eaters

For example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet matured. That means they can go from cloud nine one minute to complete tantrum the next. Instead of battling a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Toddlers have little self-control to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is always a main feeling underneath it

• A lot of angry children are actually anxious and/or very sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that should be met first. For instance, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Focus on meeting that big need first.

• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re truly upset due to the fact that I said we could not go to the park today. I understand it’s tough because you genuinely want to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, and also I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if needed.

• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a big hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and growl. The point is to enable him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you previously that positive parenting helps any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and also everything in between. So let’s think about teenagers in our following example … How To Help Picky Eaters

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to receive from our child, we must be eager to provide. If I am discourteous, controlling and sarcastic to my young adult merely due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you think that communicates to my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or dad, you can set the example and also show your teenager that you value their viewpoint, and also you appreciate them as a person. How To Help Picky Eaters

This doesn’t imply you need to be a pushover. It does indicate you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our young adult to treat us with more respect, the initial step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. How To Help Picky Eaters

Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer support associate on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking of. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …

Just the other day, my two young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, as well as she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the swiped sticker, apologized and requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced as well as started playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate anyone to settle the conflict. And yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You know why? How To Help Picky Eaters

Because we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to fix conflict, as well as even just how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everyone around us with respect, and model the habits we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.

Some readers might be wondering about my other half, Antonio, and also his two adolescent sons from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has begun parenting positively as well, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.

Exactly how can you become a positive parent? How To Help Picky Eaters

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be challenging to transform your old ways. Yet bit by bit, you will make improvements. As well as a year or more from now, you will not believe just how much you’ve changed, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.

I suggest any individual who is serious about becoming an extra positive mommy or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How To Help Picky Eaters

You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.

In her cost-free class, Amy shares just how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, and discover how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the free webinar by clicking the button below. How To Help Picky Eaters


Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

error: Content is protected !!