How To Prevent A Picky Eater – Exactly How I Applied Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Cooperate

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How To Prevent A Picky Eater
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mom, I knew that I wanted to do things in a different way than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best job they could, yet they didn’t have access to the variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. How To Prevent A Picky Eater

There were a few books on our bookshelf regarding dealing with power struggles, exactly how to control the stubborn child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure exactly what they discovered in those books, but I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of yelling, and also a great deal of just plain blowing up.

It was a hard number of years. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually begun to recognize that, while no one is without fault, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to break the cycle when I came to be a mother.How To Prevent A Picky Eater

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my approach How To Prevent A Picky Eater

My very own experience with positive parenting started when my first daughter was born. I started checking out articles concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, screaming, extreme punishments and virtually every other typically accepted parenting strategy.

I started to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I realize there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to get their needs met. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how all of these ideas lead to healthy child development How To Prevent A Picky Eater

How To Prevent A Picky Eater

In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different perspective. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and had experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” may seem to help temporarily. In the long run, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt and bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child partnership.

Given his history and learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining as well as applying positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyway? How To Prevent A Picky Eater

Let me inform you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Ignoring significant misbehavior

• Providing your children everything they want How To Prevent A Picky Eater

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “real life”

• Having no boundaries

You might hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach acknowledges the truth that cooperation consistently produces far better long-term results than harsh control.

Parents who embrace this concept have actually figured out how to promote:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced limits

• Developing a child’s fundamental character qualities

Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they are afraid of retribution if they do not … After all, what occurs when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is over?

• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be listened to as well as valued

• Assisting kids to grow their self-discipline

• Going deeper than simple outside compliance and concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began down the road of gentle parenting, I could not picture that there were other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and shouting. That’s how I was raised, and therefore I just had no framework for anything different. How To Prevent A Picky Eater

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually served as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.

Right here are a couple of the techniques Amy shares to assist you to become the mom or daddy you’ve always intended to be, and assist your child to reach his or her highest potential.

Find the root of the misbehavior

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s frequently widely accepted (and also much more typical in today’s world) to presume children are simply spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

We can get a lot further towards fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They real needs similar to you as well as me. And also most times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. How To Prevent A Picky Eater

As an example, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-control) is not yet matured. That suggests they can go from cloud nine one minute to major tantrum the next. Rather than combating a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-discipline to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is typically a key feeling under it

• A lot of upset children are actually anxious and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that have to be addressed initially. For instance, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Concentrate on meeting that large need initially.

• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re really angry due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I recognize it’s hard since you genuinely really want to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, and I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if needed.

• Focusing more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a big hug and also say “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into fists and growl. The goal is to allow him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting works for every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens as well as everything in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our following example … How To Prevent A Picky Eater

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we want to receive from our child, we should want to offer first. If I am impolite, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teenager just due to the fact that I “have every right given that I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you assume that communicates to my child?

It is a lot easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or father, you can set the standard and also show your young adult that you value their point of view, as well as you value them as a person. How To Prevent A Picky Eater

This doesn’t indicate you need to be a pushover. It does suggest you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our young adult to treat us with more regard, the initial step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. How To Prevent A Picky Eater

Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer care rep on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …

Just a few days ago, my two daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and she said she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back as well as returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced as well as begun playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate anybody to deal with the problem. As well as yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You know why? How To Prevent A Picky Eater

Since we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to settle conflict, as well as even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some readers might be curious about my hubby, Antonio, and his 2 teen boys from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, and the repair of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.

So exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? How To Prevent A Picky Eater

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I have actually ever before done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to alter your old parenting style. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you will not think how much you’ve transformed, along with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I recommend any person who is serious about growing to be a much more positive mommy or daddy to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. How To Prevent A Picky Eater

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her products have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.

In her free class, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, as well as learn how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the totally free webinar by clicking the button shown below. How To Prevent A Picky Eater


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