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When I first came to be a mama, I knew that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best they could, but they really did not have access to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. How To Punish A Child For Stealing And Lying
There were a few books on our shelf about taking care of power struggles, exactly how to deal with the strong-willed child, as well as how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My parents don’t understand me.”
I’m uncertain exactly what they found out in those books, but I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of shouting, and a lot of just plain blowing up.
It was a challenging number of years. And also our connection is still strained today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for what happened. I have actually come to realize that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to break the cycle when I came to be a mother.How To Punish A Child For Stealing And Lying
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan How To Punish A Child For Stealing And Lying
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my first daughter was born. I started reading material regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, shouting, harsh punishments and also basically every other traditionally accepted parenting method.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I know there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to get their needs fulfilled. I learned about:
• Managing power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How every one of these concepts cause healthy child development How To Punish A Child For Stealing And Lying
During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and also had actually seen firsthand just how being the “mean dad” could seem to help temporarily. But in the long run, it was only promoting disrespect, anger and also resentment in what was intended to be a caring parent-child partnership.
Considering his history as well as discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and applying positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyway? How To Punish A Child For Stealing And Lying
Let me tell you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Overlooking significant wrongdoing
• Offering your children every little thing they ask for How To Punish A Child For Stealing And Lying
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no limitations
You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique identifies the truth that cooperation consistently yields much better long-lasting results than harsh control.
Parents who embrace this concept have learned to foster:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced limits
• Developing a child’s foundational character and morals
• Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … Nevertheless, what occurs when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?
• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be listened to as well as valued
• Assisting kids to establish self-restraint
• Going deeper than simple outside compliance and also concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started down the path of gentle parenting, I could not picture that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also screaming. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and I obviously had no framework for anything different. How To Punish A Child For Stealing And Lying
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.
Right here are a couple of the strategies Amy teaches to assist you to evolve into the mommy or dad you have actually always wanted to be, and also assist your child to reach his/her highest potential.
Get to the root of the acting out
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s often much easier (and also a lot more common in today’s world) to presume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
We can progress a great deal further toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs just like you and me. As well as most times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. How To Punish A Child For Stealing And Lying
A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that makes it possible for self-restraint) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from joyful one moment to major tantrum the next. Rather than battling a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is typically a key feeling underneath it
• Many mad children are actually scared and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that have to be addressed initially. For example, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Concentrate on addressing that large need first.
• Empathize with his feelings without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re truly mad due to the fact that I said we could not go to the park today. I recognize it’s difficult since you truly wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if required.
• Focusing more on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into fists and also growl. The goal is to enable him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting works for all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens as well as everything in between. So let’s talk about teens in our following scenario … How To Punish A Child For Stealing And Lying
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to receive from our child, we must be willing to provide first. If I am discourteous, controlling and also sarcastic to my teenager just since I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you think that teaches my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the example as well as show your young adult that you value their opinion, and you respect them as a person. How To Punish A Child For Stealing And Lying
This does not suggest you need to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of problems. It will certainly accomplish more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.
In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we want our teen to treat us with more regard, the first step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. How To Punish A Child For Stealing And Lying
Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer support associate on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …
Just recently, my 2 young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and she stated she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, after that came back and returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced as well as started playing once again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten any person to deal with the problem. And yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You recognize why? How To Punish A Child For Stealing And Lying
Because we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, exactly how to settle disputes, as well as even just how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with every person around us with respect, and also model the habits we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.
Some visitors may be wondering about my hubby, Antonio, as well as his 2 adolescent boys from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has begun parenting positively also, as well as the repair of their relationship is nothing except miraculous.
Just how can you become a positive parent? How To Punish A Child For Stealing And Lying
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to alter your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you will not think just how much you have actually altered, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I recommend any individual that is serious about coming to be an extra positive mommy or daddy to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How To Punish A Child For Stealing And Lying
You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her materials have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 parents around the world, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can absolutely apply every day.
In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of every age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, and also discover how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button shown below. How To Punish A Child For Stealing And Lying
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