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When I first came to be a mama, I understood that I intended to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best job they could, yet they really did not have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools available today. How To Stop A 2 Year Old From Hitting
There were a couple of books on our shelf about handling power struggles, how to discipline the strong-willed child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I definitely remember thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”
I’m not exactly sure what exactly they learned in those books, however I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of screaming, and also a lot of just plain losing control.
It was a hard period of time. And our connection is still strained today, although I have truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to recognize that, while no one is perfect, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to stop the cycle when I became a mom.How To Stop A 2 Year Old From Hitting
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my answer How To Stop A 2 Year Old From Hitting
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest child was born. I started reading blog posts about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, screaming, severe punishments and basically every other typically accepted parenting strategy.
I started to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs satisfied. I discovered:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How every one of these principles bring about healthy and balanced child development How To Stop A 2 Year Old From Hitting
During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique perspective. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and had witnessed firsthand how being the “mean dad” could appear to work temporarily. Long-term, it was just promoting disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was supposed to be a caring parent-child relationship.
Given his history as well as learning specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and implementing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyway? How To Stop A 2 Year Old From Hitting
Let me tell you what it doesn’t suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Ignoring major wrongdoing
• Giving your children whatever they want How To Stop A 2 Year Old From Hitting
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no limitations
You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the reality that collaboration always yields far better long-lasting outcomes than harsh control.
Moms and dads that adopt this design have learned to cultivate:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Establishing healthy boundaries
• Developing a child’s foundational character and morals
• Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of retribution if they do not … Nevertheless, what happens once they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is over?
• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be heard as well as valued
• Assisting kids to establish self-control
• Going deeper than simple exterior compliance and focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t imagine that there were various other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also shouting. That’s how I was raised, and therefore I simply had no framework for anything different. How To Stop A 2 Year Old From Hitting
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to countless moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.
Find the root of the behavior
I told you this is deep. It’s commonly simpler (and a lot more typical in today’s society) to assume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
We can get a whole lot more toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs similar to you and also me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. How To Stop A 2 Year Old From Hitting
As an example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-restraint) is not yet developed. That implies they can go from delighted one moment to major meltdown the next. Instead of battling a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is always a key emotion underneath it
• A lot of angry children are really frightened and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that should be addressed first. For example, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Focus on meeting that large need first.
• Validate his emotions without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad because I said we could not go to the park today. I recognize it’s tough due to the fact that you genuinely really want to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if necessary.
• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a large hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands into clenched fists and also growl. The point is to allow him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you earlier that positive parenting helps any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everything in between. So let’s think about teenagers in our following scenario … How To Stop A 2 Year Old From Hitting
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we want to receive from our child, we must be prepared to provide. If I am impolite, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teenager merely due to the fact that I “have every right since I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you assume that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or daddy, you can set the standard as well as show your young adult that you value their point of view, and also you appreciate them as a person. How To Stop A 2 Year Old From Hitting
This doesn’t imply you have to be a pushover. Yet it does imply you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our young adult to treat us with more regard, the initial step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. How To Stop A 2 Year Old From Hitting
Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer care rep on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can answer this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …
Just the other day, my two young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and also she said she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back and also returned the stolen sticker, apologized as well as asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and started playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate anyone to deal with the conflict. And also yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You know why? How To Stop A 2 Year Old From Hitting
Because we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, how to resolve disputes, and even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat every person around us with respect, and model the behavior we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.
Some visitors could be curious about my partner, Antonio, and his two teen boys from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has begun parenting positively as well, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.
So how can you come to be a positive parent? How To Stop A 2 Year Old From Hitting
This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I’ve ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be hard to change your old ways. Little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or more from now, you won’t believe just how much you have actually changed, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I recommend anyone who is serious about growing to be a more positive mom or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. How To Stop A 2 Year Old From Hitting
You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any number of media networks. Her materials have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.
In her totally free webinar, Amy shares how to get kids of every age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, as well as learn how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the totally free webinar by clicking the button below. How To Stop A 2 Year Old From Hitting
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.