Please note: This post contains affiliate links.
When I first came to be a mom, I recognized that I wanted to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mother and father did the very best they could, yet they really did not have access to the huge selection of positive parenting tools offered today. How To Teach A Child Respect And Discipline Pdf
There were a few books on our shelf concerning handling power struggles, how to deal with the stubborn child, as well as just how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad don’t understand me.”
I’m uncertain just what they discovered in those books, but I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of shouting, and a great deal of just plain blowing up.
It was a hard number of years. And also our relationship is still strained today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to recognize that, while nobody is without fault, it is our responsibility to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mom.How To Teach A Child Respect And Discipline Pdf
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my approach How To Teach A Child Respect And Discipline Pdf
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest little girl was born. I started checking out blog posts regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, screaming, harsh punishments and pretty much every other traditionally approved parenting method.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I understand there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow every person to get their needs fulfilled. I learned about:
• Handling power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How every one of these principles cause healthy child development How To Teach A Child Respect And Discipline Pdf
In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique perspective. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and had experienced firsthand just how being the “mean father” might appear to benefit for the moment. In the long run, it was only promoting disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was intended to be a loving parent-child relationship.
Considering his background and finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching as well as applying positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? How To Teach A Child Respect And Discipline Pdf
Let me inform you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Disregarding major misbehavior
• Offering your children everything they want How To Teach A Child Respect And Discipline Pdf
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no limits
You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the fact that collaboration consistently generates much better long-term results than harsh control.
Parents that adopt this design have learned to cultivate:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced boundaries
• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals
• Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear punishment if they do not … After all, what takes place when they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Helping kids to develop self-control
• Going much deeper than plain outward compliance and focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as shouting. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and I obviously had no framework for anything different. How To Teach A Child Respect And Discipline Pdf
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually served as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.
Identify the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep. It’s commonly easier (as well as a lot more common in today’s world) to presume children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.
We can progress a lot farther toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs just like you and also me. And also most times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. How To Teach A Child Respect And Discipline Pdf
For example, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-restraint) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from happy one moment to complete meltdown the next. Instead of fighting a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to start with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is typically a primary emotion under it
• Most upset children are really anxious and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that need to be addressed first. As an example, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that large need first.
• Validate his emotions without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re really mad since I said we could not play at the park today. I know it’s hard since you truly really want to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if needed.
• Focusing more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a large hug and also say “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and growl. The goal is to enable him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting helps every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everyone in between. So let’s use teenagers in our following example … How To Teach A Child Respect And Discipline Pdf
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to obtain from our child, we need to be willing to provide. If I am disrespectful, controlling and also sarcastic to my teen just since I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or father, you can set the example and also communicate to your young adult that you value their opinion, as well as you value them as an individual. How To Teach A Child Respect And Discipline Pdf
This doesn’t imply you have to be a pushover. However it does mean you can be kind when faced with problems. It will accomplish more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teen to treat us with even more respect, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. How To Teach A Child Respect And Discipline Pdf
Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer care representative on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking about. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …
Just the other day, my 2 young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and she said she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back and returned the stolen sticker label, apologized as well as asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and also begun playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or intimidate anyone to resolve the dispute. And also yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You recognize why? How To Teach A Child Respect And Discipline Pdf
Because we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, just how to resolve conflict, and also even just how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, and also model the actions we want, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some visitors may be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his 2 teen sons from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.
Exactly how can you evolve to be a positive parent? How To Teach A Child Respect And Discipline Pdf
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to transform your old parenting style. Yet bit by bit, you will make improvements. And a year or more from now, you won’t believe how much you’ve changed, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.
I advise any person that is serious about coming to be an extra positive mommy or daddy to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How To Teach A Child Respect And Discipline Pdf
You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any number of media channels. Her products have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents around the world, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can absolutely apply every day.
In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares how to help kids of any age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and find out how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the free webinar by clicking the button shown below. How To Teach A Child Respect And Discipline Pdf
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.