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When I initially came to be a mom, I knew that I wanted to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the best they could, but they really did not have access to the variety of positive parenting tools offered today. How To Wean 18 Month Old From Breastfeeding
There were a few books on our bookshelf concerning dealing with power struggles, just how to deal with the strong-willed child, as well as just how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”
I’m not exactly sure exactly what they discovered in those books, but I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, and also a great deal of just plain blowing up.
It was a difficult period of time. And our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually come to realize that, while no person is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to break the cycle when I became a mommy.How To Wean 18 Month Old From Breastfeeding
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my solution How To Wean 18 Month Old From Breastfeeding
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first little girl was born. I started reviewing blog posts regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, shouting, severe punishments and also basically every other traditionally approved parenting strategy.
I began to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I realize there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs met. I discovered:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How all of these concepts result in healthy and balanced child development How To Wean 18 Month Old From Breastfeeding
In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. But he brought a different point of view. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually seen firsthand how being the “mean dad” could seem to help for the moment. But in the long run, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt as well as resentment in what was intended to be a caring parent-child connection.
Considering his history and also learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying as well as employing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting mean anyway? How To Wean 18 Month Old From Breastfeeding
Let me inform you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Disregarding significant wrongdoing
• Giving your children everything they want How To Wean 18 Month Old From Breastfeeding
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”
• Having no restrictions
You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach acknowledges the reality that cooperation consistently produces better long-term results than forced control.
Parents who embrace this design have learned to foster:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries
• Developing a child’s fundamental character traits
• Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they fear retribution if they do not … Besides, what takes place as soon as they’re adults and the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be heard and also valued
• Assisting kids to grow their self-control
• Going deeper than plain exterior compliance and focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially started on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as screaming. That’s how I was treated as a child, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. How To Wean 18 Month Old From Breastfeeding
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.
Get to the root of the behavior
I mentioned this is deep. It’s often widely accepted (and much more typical in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.
We can get a great deal further towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs much like you and me. And most times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development spectrum. How To Wean 18 Month Old From Breastfeeding
A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet developed. That means they can go from joyful one moment to complete meltdown the next. So as opposed to fighting a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is always a primary emotion below it
• Most mad children are in fact frightened and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that have to be met initially. For instance, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Focus on addressing that big need first.
• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re really upset because I said we could not play at the park today. I understand it’s difficult because you really really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if needed.
• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and say loudly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and also growl. The objective is to enable him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting benefits all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everything in between. So let’s talk about teens in our following scenario … How To Wean 18 Month Old From Breastfeeding
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we wish to obtain from our child, we need to agree to offer before anyone else. If I am disrespectful, manipulative and sarcastic to my young adult merely since I “have every right because I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or dad, you can set the standard as well as show your teenager that you value their viewpoint, and also you value them as a person. How To Wean 18 Month Old From Breastfeeding
This doesn’t indicate you need to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our teenager to treat us with even more regard, the initial step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. How To Wean 18 Month Old From Breastfeeding
Are you kind to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer care rep on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share an individual story …
Just recently, my 2 girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, and also she claimed she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned and returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and also requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced as well as begun playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or threaten anybody to deal with the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You know why? How To Wean 18 Month Old From Breastfeeding
Because we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to deal with disputes, as well as even how to apologize. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everyone around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.
Some visitors might be wondering about my husband, Antonio, and also his 2 teen boys from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively as well, and also the restoration of their connection is nothing except a miracle.
So just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? How To Wean 18 Month Old From Breastfeeding
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I have actually ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be challenging to transform your old parenting style. Little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you will not believe just how much you have actually transformed, together with the closer connection you have with your kids.
I suggest anybody that is serious about becoming a much more positive mama or father to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How To Wean 18 Month Old From Breastfeeding
You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents around the world, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.
In her totally free webinar, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of any age to behave WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, as well as discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the free class by clicking the button below. How To Wean 18 Month Old From Breastfeeding
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