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When I first came to be a mom, I knew that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the very best they could, however they really did not have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. How To Wean A 2 Year Old
There were a few books on our shelf about managing power struggles, just how to control the stubborn child, and also how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably recall thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”
I’m unsure what exactly they discovered in those books, however I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of yelling, as well as a great deal of just plain tempers raging.
It was a difficult period of time. And also our connection is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve begun to understand that, while nobody is perfect, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to break the cycle when I came to be a mom.How To Wean A 2 Year Old
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my solution How To Wean A 2 Year Old
My own experience with positive parenting began when my first little girl was born. I started reviewing articles concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, shouting, harsh punishments and basically every other commonly approved parenting technique.
I began to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I realize there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow every person to get their needs fulfilled. I learned more about:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how all of these concepts lead to healthy child development How To Wean A 2 Year Old
In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique point of view. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had experienced firsthand just how being the “mean father” could appear to help temporarily. However long-term, it was just promoting disrespect, anger and also bitterness in what was expected to be a caring parent-child connection.
Considering his background and also finding out exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and implementing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? How To Wean A 2 Year Old
Let me tell you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a lazy parent
• Disregarding significant wrongdoing
• Providing your children every little thing they want How To Wean A 2 Year Old
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no boundaries
You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the fact that cooperation consistently yields much better long-lasting results than harsh control.
Moms and dads that adopt this concept have learned to cultivate:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced limits
• Building a child’s fundamental character traits
• Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they are afraid of retribution if they do not … After all, what takes place as soon as they’re adults and the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Helping kids to develop self-restraint
• Going deeper than plain outside compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t believe that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and shouting. That’s exactly how I was raised, and I obviously had no understanding about anything different. How To Wean A 2 Year Old
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.
Find the root of the misbehavior
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s typically easier (as well as more typical in today’s world) to presume children are simply spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.
However we can progress a lot farther towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs just like you as well as me. And many times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. How To Wean A 2 Year Old
For example, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from happy one minute to complete tantrum the next. Instead of battling a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that suggests there is typically a main feeling underneath it
• Most mad children are actually scared and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that have to be met first. As an example, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Concentrate on meeting that huge need first.
• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely upset since I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s difficult since you truly wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if required.
• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a huge hug and also say firmly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into fists and growl. The objective is to enable him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting works for any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens as well as everything in between. So let’s think about teenagers in our following example … How To Wean A 2 Year Old
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we desire to get from our child, we have to be prepared to give. If I am rude, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teen simply due to the fact that I “have every right given that I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?
It is a lot easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or father, you can set the standard and also communicate to your teen that you value their point of view, and also you appreciate them as an individual. How To Wean A 2 Year Old
This doesn’t indicate you have to be a pushover. But it does suggest you can be kind despite conflict. It will accomplish more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our teen to treat us with more regard, the initial step is to see to it that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. How To Wean A 2 Year Old
Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer care rep on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking of. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …
Just the other day, my 2 young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and she stated she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back and also returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry and also requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and begun playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate any individual to settle the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? How To Wean A 2 Year Old
Because we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to fix disputes, as well as even exactly how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everybody around us with respect, and model the habits we want, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some readers might be curious about my husband, Antonio, and his two adolescent boys from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively as well, as well as the restoration of their connection is nothing except miraculous.
So just how can you come to be a positive parent? How To Wean A 2 Year Old
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I have actually ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to alter your old parenting style. Yet bit by bit, you will make improvements. And also a year or more from now, you will not think how much you’ve changed, along with the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I recommend any person that is serious about growing to be a much more positive mother or dad to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. How To Wean A 2 Year Old
You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media networks. Her materials have been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.
In her totally free webinar, Amy shares how to help kids of any age to behave WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, and discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button shown below. How To Wean A 2 Year Old
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.