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When I first came to be a mother, I recognized that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best job they could, however they didn’t have access to the wide variety of positive parenting tools offered today. How To Wean A Toddler From Night Nursing
There were a couple of books on our bookshelf about dealing with power struggles, just how to control the strong-willed child, as well as just how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”
I’m not sure what exactly they discovered in those books, however I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of yelling, and a great deal of just plain blowing up.
It was a challenging number of years. And our relationship is still not the best today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve come to recognize that, while no person is without flaws, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to break the cycle when I came to be a mom.How To Wean A Toddler From Night Nursing
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan How To Wean A Toddler From Night Nursing
My own experience with positive parenting began when my first daughter was born. I began checking out blogs concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and pretty much every other generally accepted parenting method.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I realize there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable every person to have their needs met. I found out about:
• Solving power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How every one of these ideas lead to healthy and balanced child development How To Wean A Toddler From Night Nursing
In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought his own unique point of view. He had two teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” might seem to work for the moment. Yet long-term, it was just breeding disrespect, contempt and resentment in what was meant to be a caring parent-child relationship.
Considering his background as well as learning precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and following through with positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? How To Wean A Toddler From Night Nursing
Let me tell you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Disregarding major misbehavior
• Offering your children whatever they ask for How To Wean A Toddler From Night Nursing
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no boundaries
You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method identifies the truth that collaboration consistently produces much better lasting results than forced control.
Parents who embrace this concept have figured out how to cultivate:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Building a child’s foundational character qualities
• Assisting children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they fear punishment if they don’t … Nevertheless, what happens as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Helping kids to grow their self-discipline
• Going deeper than mere external compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not picture that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as screaming. That’s exactly how I was raised, and therefore I obviously had no framework for anything different. How To Wean A Toddler From Night Nursing
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually acted as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.
Identify the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep. It’s commonly widely accepted (and also more typical in today’s world) to presume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
We can progress a lot further towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs much like you and also me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. How To Wean A Toddler From Night Nursing
A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet formed. That means they can go from delighted one moment to complete tantrum the next. So instead of battling a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-discipline to start with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is typically a key emotion underneath it
• Many angry children are really frightened and/or sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that must be addressed first. As an example, if a child is starving or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Focus on meeting that large need initially.
• Acknowledge his emotions without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad since I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I recognize it’s tough due to the fact that you really want to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if required.
• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a big hug and say “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The goal is to permit him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting benefits any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s talk about young adults in our following scenario … How To Wean A Toddler From Night Nursing
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we desire to receive from our child, we have to be willing to give. If I am impolite, manipulative and sarcastic to my teen just since I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to give respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or daddy, you can set the standard and show your young adult that you value their point of view, and you appreciate them as an individual. How To Wean A Toddler From Night Nursing
This doesn’t imply you have to be a pushover. It does suggest you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our young adult to treat us with more regard, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. How To Wean A Toddler From Night Nursing
Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer care rep on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be considering. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can answer this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …
Just recently, my 2 girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, as well as she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, then came back as well as returned the stolen sticker, apologized and also asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also started playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or intimidate any individual to resolve the dispute. And also yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You know why? How To Wean A Toddler From Night Nursing
Since we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, just how to deal with disputes, and also even just how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, and model the behavior we want, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors could be curious about my hubby, Antonio, as well as his two teen sons from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively too, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing except miraculous.
So exactly how can you become a positive parent? How To Wean A Toddler From Night Nursing
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I’ve ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to transform your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or more from now, you will not believe just how much you’ve changed, together with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I advise any individual that is serious about coming to be a much more positive mom or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How To Wean A Toddler From Night Nursing
You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.
In her free webinar, Amy shares just how to get kids of every age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the free class by clicking the button shown below. How To Wean A Toddler From Night Nursing
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.