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When I first came to be a mother, I knew that I intended to do things differently than how I was parented. My mother and father did the very best they could, however they didn’t have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools offered today. How To Wean Two Year Old
There were a few books on our bookshelf about managing power struggles, how to discipline the stubborn child, and also exactly how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad don’t understand me.”
I’m unsure exactly what they discovered in those books, yet I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of yelling, and a lot of just plain losing control.
It was a challenging number of years. And also our relationship is still strained today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually come to understand that, while no person is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mom.How To Wean Two Year Old
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my plan How To Wean Two Year Old
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my first little girl was born. I started checking out material regarding how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and virtually every other typically approved parenting technique.
I started to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I realize there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to get their needs fulfilled. I discovered:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how all of these ideas result in healthy and balanced child development How To Wean Two Year Old
During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. However he brought his own unique point of view. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and also had witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” could seem to benefit for the moment. However long-term, it was only breeding disrespect, anger and also resentment in what was intended to be a loving parent-child relationship.
Given his history and also learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching as well as applying positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyway? How To Wean Two Year Old
First, let me tell you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Overlooking major wrongdoing
• Giving your children whatever they ask for How To Wean Two Year Old
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no boundaries
You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the reality that collaboration always generates better long-term outcomes than forced control.
Moms and dads that adopt this concept have actually figured out how to foster:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Developing a child’s foundational character and morals
• Encouraging children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not because they fear punishment if they do not … Besides, what occurs as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is over?
• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be listened to as well as valued
• Assisting kids to establish self-control
• Going deeper than simple outside conformity and focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not picture that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and yelling. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and I obviously had no understanding about anything different. How To Wean Two Year Old
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.
Find the root of the behavior
I told you this is deep. It’s frequently much easier (and also extra usual in today’s society) to presume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
We can progress a lot farther towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs much like you as well as me. And often times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. How To Wean Two Year Old
For instance, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet developed. That suggests they can go from delighted one minute to major tantrum the next. Rather than fighting a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Toddlers have little self-restraint to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is always a primary feeling underneath it
• A lot of upset children are actually frightened and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any basic needs that have to be addressed first. For instance, if a child is starving or exhausted, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Concentrate on addressing that large need initially.
• Acknowledge his emotions without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really angry since I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I understand it’s tough because you really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if necessary.
• Focusing too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a large hug and also say loudly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and growl. The objective is to allow him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting helps all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everything in between. So let’s think about young adults in our next example … How To Wean Two Year Old
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we desire to receive from our child, we need to be ready to provide. If I am disrespectful, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teen simply since I “have every right given that I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?
It is a lot easier to give respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or father, you can set the standard and communicate to your teenager that you value their viewpoint, and you respect them as an individual. How To Wean Two Year Old
This does not imply you have to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of problems. It will certainly accomplish more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teenager to treat us with even more regard, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. How To Wean Two Year Old
Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer service representative on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share an individual story …
Just recently, my 2 young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and also she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned and also returned the stolen sticker, apologized as well as asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and also begun playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or manipulate any individual to fix the conflict. And yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? How To Wean Two Year Old
Because we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, exactly how to settle disputes, as well as even exactly how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with every person around us with respect, as well as model the actions we desire, you would be amazed at what’s possible.
Some visitors might be wondering about my other half, Antonio, and his 2 adolescent sons from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has started parenting positively too, as well as the repair of their connection is nothing except a miracle.
Just how can you become a positive parent? How To Wean Two Year Old
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I have actually ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be difficult to change your old parenting style. Little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or 2 from now, you won’t think just how much you have actually changed, together with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I recommend anybody who is serious about coming to be an extra positive mother or father to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How To Wean Two Year Old
You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her products have been life-altering for more than 75,000 parents around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really use every day.
In her free class, Amy shares just how to help kids of any age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, and also discover how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button shown below. How To Wean Two Year Old
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.