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When I initially came to be a mother, I understood that I wanted to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best job they could, but they really did not have access to the wide variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Ideas To Do With Kids To Show Examples Of Sharing Love As A Christian
There were a couple of books on our bookshelf regarding taking care of power struggles, how to discipline the stubborn child, as well as how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My parents don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure just what they discovered in those books, yet I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of shouting, and a lot of just plain losing control.
It was a hard number of years. And also our relationship is still strained today, although I have truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to understand that, while no one is without fault, it is our responsibility to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wished to stop the cycle when I came to be a mommy.Ideas To Do With Kids To Show Examples Of Sharing Love As A Christian
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my solution Ideas To Do With Kids To Show Examples Of Sharing Love As A Christian
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest daughter was born. I started checking out blog posts regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, shouting, severe punishments and virtually every other commonly approved parenting technique.
I started to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I know there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to get their needs met. I found out about:
• Resolving power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how all of these ideas result in healthy and balanced child development Ideas To Do With Kids To Show Examples Of Sharing Love As A Christian
Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. But he brought his own unique viewpoint. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and had witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean father” could seem to work temporarily. In the long run, it was just breeding disrespect, contempt as well as bitterness in what was meant to be a caring parent-child relationship.
Considering his history and learning specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching as well as following through with positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Ideas To Do With Kids To Show Examples Of Sharing Love As A Christian
Initially, let me tell you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Overlooking major wrongdoing
• Giving your children everything they want Ideas To Do With Kids To Show Examples Of Sharing Love As A Christian
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”
• Having no boundaries
You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the truth that cooperation always generates far better lasting results than forced control.
Moms and dads who adopt this concept have actually learned to promote:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Setting healthy limits
• Developing a child’s fundamental character traits
• Encouraging children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not because they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … After all, what takes place when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is over?
• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be listened to and valued
• Helping kids to establish self-discipline
• Going much deeper than plain exterior compliance as well as focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t picture that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also screaming. That’s just how I was parented, and therefore I obviously had no framework for anything different. Ideas To Do With Kids To Show Examples Of Sharing Love As A Christian
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Find the root of the acting out
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s typically much easier (and also much more common in today’s world) to presume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
We can progress a lot more toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs just like you and also me. And also most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. Ideas To Do With Kids To Show Examples Of Sharing Love As A Christian
A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-control) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from delighted one moment to complete tantrum the next. So rather than combating a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is always a main feeling below it
• Most angry children are actually anxious and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that must be addressed first. For instance, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Focus on meeting that big need first.
• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly mad since I said we could not play at the park today. I know it’s difficult because you genuinely wish to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, so I will not let you do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if required.
• Concentrating more on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a large hug and say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands into clenched fists and growl. The goal is to enable him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I told you earlier that positive parenting benefits all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens as well as everything in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our following example … Ideas To Do With Kids To Show Examples Of Sharing Love As A Christian
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we desire to get from our child, we need to be willing to give. If I am impolite, controlling and also sarcastic to my young adult merely since I “have every right because I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or dad, you can set the example and show your young adult that you value their point of view, and also you appreciate them as an individual. Ideas To Do With Kids To Show Examples Of Sharing Love As A Christian
This doesn’t suggest you have to be a pushover. It does indicate you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teen to treat us with more regard, the initial step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Ideas To Do With Kids To Show Examples Of Sharing Love As A Christian
Are you kind to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer care rep on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking of. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can answer this with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …
Just a few days ago, my 2 daughters were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back as well as returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry as well as asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and also begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or manipulate any individual to settle the dispute. And yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You recognize why? Ideas To Do With Kids To Show Examples Of Sharing Love As A Christian
Since we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, just how to deal with conflict, as well as even just how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everyone around us with respect, and also model the behavior we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some readers might be wondering about my other half, Antonio, as well as his 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship. Over time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively as well, as well as the restoration of their connection is nothing except a miracle.
Just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Ideas To Do With Kids To Show Examples Of Sharing Love As A Christian
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I have actually ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be hard to alter your old ways. But gradually, you will make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you will not believe just how much you’ve altered, along with the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I suggest any individual who is serious about growing to be a more positive mama or daddy to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Ideas To Do With Kids To Show Examples Of Sharing Love As A Christian
You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media channels. Her products have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.
In her free webinar, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and also discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the complimentary class by clicking the button below. Ideas To Do With Kids To Show Examples Of Sharing Love As A Christian
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.