Kids Say Funny Things – Just How I Chose Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Kids Say Funny Things
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mom, I recognized that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mother and father did the very best they could, yet they didn’t have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools offered today. Kids Say Funny Things

There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning handling power struggles, exactly how to discipline the strong-willed child, as well as just how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I definitely remember thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”

I’m unsure just what they learned in those books, yet I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of screaming, and a lot of just plain losing control.

It was a hard period of time. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve come to realize that, while no one is perfect, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wished to break the cycle when I came to be a mom.Kids Say Funny Things

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer Kids Say Funny Things

My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest little girl was born. I began reviewing blog posts regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, screaming, harsh punishments as well as practically every other generally accepted parenting method.

I started to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I know there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to get their needs met. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Solving power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how all of these concepts cause healthy child development Kids Say Funny Things

Kids Say Funny Things

Along the way, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous relationship, and also had seen firsthand just how being the “mean father” could appear to benefit temporarily. But in the long run, it was only promoting disrespect, contempt as well as resentment in what was supposed to be a loving parent-child partnership.

Given his history as well as finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and implementing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Kids Say Funny Things

Initially, let me tell you what it doesn’t suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids run wild

• Being a passive parent

• Overlooking significant misbehavior

• Offering your children whatever they want Kids Say Funny Things

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”

• Having no limitations

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the reality that cooperation always generates far better long-term results than harsh control.

Moms and dads who adopt this concept have figured out how to foster:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced boundaries

• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals

Assisting children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear retribution if they don’t … After all, what occurs as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?

• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be listened to as well as valued

• Helping kids to develop self-restraint

• Going much deeper than simple exterior conformity and concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially started down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t believe that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and yelling. That’s how I was treated as a child, and I just had no understanding about anything different. Kids Say Funny Things

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to countless moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.

Here are a couple of the techniques Amy reveals to assist you to become the mother or daddy you’ve always wanted to be, and assist your child to reach his/her complete potential.

Discover the root of the behavior

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s typically widely accepted (and more usual in today’s society) to think children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

Yet we can progress a lot more toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs much like you as well as me. And also most times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development spectrum. Kids Say Funny Things

For instance, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet formed. That suggests they can go from delighted one minute to major meltdown the next. So instead of combating a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is always a main feeling below it

• A lot of mad children are really scared and/or very sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that have to be addressed initially. For example, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Focus on meeting that big need first.

• Empathize with his emotions without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re really angry due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I understand it’s hard because you really wish to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, so I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if necessary.

• Concentrating more on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a big hug and say “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and growl. The point is to enable him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting works for all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everyone in between. So let’s talk about young adults in our next scenario … Kids Say Funny Things

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we want to receive from our child, we have to be willing to give first. If I am impolite, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teenager merely because I “have every right since I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you assume that reveals to my child?

It is a lot easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or father, you can set the example and also communicate to your teenager that you value their opinion, and also you appreciate them as a person. Kids Say Funny Things

This does not suggest you have to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our teen to treat us with more regard, the initial step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Kids Say Funny Things

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer support representative on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be considering. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …

Just a few days ago, my 2 girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and also she claimed she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back and returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged as well as started playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or manipulate any person to solve the problem. As well as yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? Kids Say Funny Things

Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to fix conflict, and even just how to apologize. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everyone around us with respect, and also model the behavior we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some visitors could be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, and also his 2 teenage sons from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has started parenting positively as well, and also the restoration of their connection is nothing except miraculous.

So exactly how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Kids Say Funny Things

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever before done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to change your old way of life. However bit by bit, you will make improvements. And a year or more from now, you won’t think how much you’ve transformed, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I advise any individual who is serious about becoming a more positive mom or daddy to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Kids Say Funny Things

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her products have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.

In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares how to get kids of any age to behave WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, and discover how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button below. Kids Say Funny Things


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