Lessons On Positive Discipline For Toddlers – How I Applied Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Lessons On Positive Discipline For Toddlers
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mother, I knew that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the best they could, however they really did not have access to the variety of positive parenting tools offered today. Lessons On Positive Discipline For Toddlers

There were a few books on our shelf about handling power struggles, just how to control the strong-willed child, and also just how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I distinctly recall thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”

I’m not sure exactly what they discovered in those books, but I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of yelling, as well as a lot of just plain blowing up.

It was a hard number of years. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually come to realize that, while no person is perfect, it is our responsibility to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to break the cycle when I became a mommy.Lessons On Positive Discipline For Toddlers

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan Lessons On Positive Discipline For Toddlers

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest daughter was born. I started checking out articles about how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, screaming, harsh punishments as well as pretty much every other generally accepted parenting method.

I started to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I realize there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to get their needs fulfilled. I learned more about:

• Problem-solving

• Handling power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how all of these principles lead to healthy and balanced child development Lessons On Positive Discipline For Toddlers

Lessons On Positive Discipline For Toddlers

In the process, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought his own unique viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous relationship, and also had actually observed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” might seem to work temporarily. Long-term, it was just promoting disrespect, anger and also bitterness in what was expected to be a loving parent-child partnership.

Considering his history and learning specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and also applying positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Lessons On Positive Discipline For Toddlers

Initially, let me tell you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids run wild

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding major wrongdoing

• Offering your children every little thing they ask for Lessons On Positive Discipline For Toddlers

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no limitations

You might see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method recognizes the reality that collaboration always generates far better lasting results than strict control.

Parents who embrace this design have figured out how to promote:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries

• Building a child’s foundational character and morals

Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Nevertheless, what takes place as soon as they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is eliminated?

• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be heard and valued

• Encouraging kids to develop self-discipline

• Going deeper than mere exterior compliance as well as focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t picture that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also shouting. That’s exactly how I was parented, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. Lessons On Positive Discipline For Toddlers

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Right here are a number of the methods Amy reveals to assist you to evolve into the mama or dad you have actually always wished to be, and help your child to reach his/her full potential.

Find the root of the misbehavior

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s typically easier (and also more usual in today’s world) to assume children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

However we can progress a lot farther toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They real needs just like you and me. And most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development spectrum. Lessons On Positive Discipline For Toddlers

For example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from delighted one minute to complete meltdown the next. Instead of dealing with a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-discipline to start with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that suggests there is typically a key emotion under it

• The majority of mad children are in fact frightened and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that have to be addressed first. For instance, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Focus on meeting that huge need initially.

• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I recognize it’s difficult since you genuinely really want to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, and also I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if necessary.

• Concentrating more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a big hug and also say loudly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into fists and also growl. The goal is to allow him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you previously that positive parenting works for all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens as well as everyone in between. So let’s use teenagers in our next scenario … Lessons On Positive Discipline For Toddlers

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we wish to obtain from our child, we need to want to offer before anyone else. If I am rude, controlling and sarcastic to my teenager merely because I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?

It is a lot easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or dad, you can set the example and also show your teen that you value their point of view, as well as you value them as an individual. Lessons On Positive Discipline For Toddlers

This doesn’t indicate you have to be a pushover. However it does mean you can be kind despite problems. It will accomplish a lot more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we want our teen to treat us with even more respect, the primary step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Lessons On Positive Discipline For Toddlers

Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer service rep on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking about. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this one with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …

Just a few days ago, my two young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, and also she stated she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, then came back and also returned the swiped sticker, said sorry as well as asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or threaten any individual to settle the dispute. And also yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You know why? Lessons On Positive Discipline For Toddlers

Since we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to deal with disputes, as well as even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat every person around us with respect, as well as model the actions we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.

Some visitors might be wondering about my hubby, Antonio, and his two adolescent boys from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively as well, and the repair of their connection is nothing except a miracle.

Exactly how can you become a positive parent? Lessons On Positive Discipline For Toddlers

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be challenging to change your old way of life. However bit by bit, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or more from now, you will not believe just how much you have actually transformed, together with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I advise anyone who is serious about coming to be a much more positive mama or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Lessons On Positive Discipline For Toddlers

You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her products have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.

In her complimentary class, Amy shares just how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the totally free class by clicking the button below. Lessons On Positive Discipline For Toddlers


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