One Year Old Bangs Head – Exactly How I Used Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Behave

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One Year Old Bangs Head
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mama, I recognized that I wanted to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the very best they could, but they didn’t have accessibility to the huge selection of positive parenting tools offered today. One Year Old Bangs Head

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf about taking care of power struggles, how to deal with the stubborn child, and how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably recall thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure exactly what they discovered in those books, yet I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of shouting, and a great deal of just plain blowing up.

It was a challenging period of time. And also our connection is still strained today, although I have truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve come to realize that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our duty to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mommy.One Year Old Bangs Head

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer One Year Old Bangs Head

My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest child was born. I started reading articles about just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and also pretty much every other typically accepted parenting technique.

I started to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs fulfilled. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Managing power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how every one of these ideas lead to healthy child development One Year Old Bangs Head

One Year Old Bangs Head

Along the way, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous relationship, and had experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” could appear to benefit for the moment. But in the long run, it was just breeding disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was expected to be a loving parent-child relationship.

Considering his history as well as finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and also following through with positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? One Year Old Bangs Head

Let me inform you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Disregarding major misbehavior

• Giving your children whatever they want One Year Old Bangs Head

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no limitations

You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the reality that cooperation always produces better long-lasting outcomes than strict control.

Moms and dads that adopt this design have learned to promote:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced limits

• Building a child’s foundational character traits

Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they fear retribution if they do not … After all, what happens once they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is over?

• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be listened to and valued

• Assisting kids to develop self-discipline

• Going much deeper than simple outside compliance and concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not visualize that there were other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also yelling. That’s exactly how I was parented, and I simply had no framework for anything different. One Year Old Bangs Head

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.

Below are a couple of the strategies Amy reveals to encourage you to come to be the mommy or dad you have actually always wanted to be, as well as assist your child to reach his/her complete potential.

Find the root of the acting out

I told you this is deep. It’s typically easier (and much more usual in today’s society) to presume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

But we can progress a great deal farther toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs much like you and also me. And often times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development spectrum. One Year Old Bangs Head

For instance, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet formed. That implies they can go from cloud nine one minute to complete tantrum the next. So as opposed to combating a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Toddlers have little self-discipline to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is always a main feeling beneath it

• The majority of mad children are in fact frightened and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that have to be met initially. For example, if a child is hungry or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on meeting that big need first.

• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad since I said we could not play at the park today. I understand it’s tough due to the fact that you genuinely wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if required.

• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and also say firmly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and also growl. The intent is to allow him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting helps all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teens as well as everyone in between. So let’s talk about teens in our following example … One Year Old Bangs Head

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we wish to obtain from our child, we should agree to provide first. If I am impolite, controlling and also sarcastic to my young adult just because I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?

It is a lot easier to offer respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or dad, you can set the standard and also communicate to your teenager that you value their point of view, and also you value them as a person. One Year Old Bangs Head

This does not indicate you have to be a pushover. But it does indicate you can be kind when faced with problems. It will accomplish more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our teen to treat us with more regard, the primary step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. One Year Old Bangs Head

Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer support representative on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can answer this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …

Just the other day, my 2 young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, as well as she said she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned and returned the swiped sticker, apologized and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and begun playing once again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate any person to fix the problem. As well as yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You recognize why? One Year Old Bangs Head

Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to fix conflict, as well as even how to apologize. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everyone around us with respect, as well as model the actions we desire, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some readers may be curious about my hubby, Antonio, and his 2 teen sons from a previous relationship. Over time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, and the restoration of their connection is nothing except miraculous.

So exactly how can you become a positive parent? One Year Old Bangs Head

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to change your old way of life. Yet little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you will not think just how much you have actually changed, together with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I recommend anyone that is serious about becoming a much more positive mom or daddy to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. One Year Old Bangs Head

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media channels. Her products have been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can absolutely apply every day.

In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and learn how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the free class by clicking the button shown below. One Year Old Bangs Head


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