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When I initially came to be a mom, I recognized that I wanted to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best they could, however they didn’t have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools offered today. Parent Management Training Worksheets
There were a couple of books on our shelf regarding taking care of power struggles, how to discipline the stubborn child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure what exactly they discovered in those books, however I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and also a lot of just plain tempers raging.
It was a hard number of years. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve come to understand that, while nobody is without fault, it is our responsibility to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wanted to stop the cycle when I became a mama.Parent Management Training Worksheets
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my strategy Parent Management Training Worksheets
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my first daughter was born. I started checking out blogs concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, yelling, extreme punishments as well as basically every other commonly approved parenting technique.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I understand there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to get their needs satisfied. I learned more about:
• Handling power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how every one of these concepts cause healthy child development Parent Management Training Worksheets
During my learning experience, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous relationship, and also had actually seen firsthand just how being the “mean father” could appear to help temporarily. But in the long run, it was only fostering disrespect, anger and resentment in what was intended to be a loving parent-child connection.
Given his history and finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying as well as applying positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyway? Parent Management Training Worksheets
Initially, let me tell you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Disregarding significant misbehavior
• Providing your children whatever they ask for Parent Management Training Worksheets
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no limitations
You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach recognizes the fact that cooperation always produces far better long-term outcomes than harsh control.
Parents that embrace this design have learned to foster:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced limits
• Building a child’s fundamental character traits
• Helping children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … After all, what happens when they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be heard and valued
• Helping kids to grow their self-restraint
• Going much deeper than plain outside conformity as well as focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not picture that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and shouting. That’s how I was treated as a child, and therefore I just had no understanding about anything different. Parent Management Training Worksheets
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually acted as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.
Get to the root of the acting out
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s usually easier (as well as more common in today’s society) to think children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
However we can get a whole lot further toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs similar to you as well as me. And also many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development spectrum. Parent Management Training Worksheets
As an example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet developed. That means they can go from happy one minute to complete tantrum the next. Instead of dealing with a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-discipline to start with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that means there is always a main emotion beneath it
• A lot of angry children are in fact frightened and/or sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that must be met initially. For instance, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Focus on meeting that large need first.
• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad since I said we could not go to the park today. I recognize it’s tough since you genuinely really want to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, so I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if needed.
• Focusing more on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a big hug and say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The objective is to permit him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you previously that positive parenting helps every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and also everyone in between. So let’s think about young adults in our next scenario … Parent Management Training Worksheets
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we want to obtain from our child, we must be willing to give. If I am discourteous, manipulative and sarcastic to my young adult merely due to the fact that I “have every right given that I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you assume that reveals to my child?
It is a lot easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or daddy, you can set the example and also communicate to your young adult that you value their viewpoint, and you value them as a person. Parent Management Training Worksheets
This does not indicate you need to be a pushover. Yet it does suggest you can be kind despite conflict. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our young adult to treat us with even more respect, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Parent Management Training Worksheets
Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer care associate on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking about. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …
Just a few days ago, my two girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and also she claimed she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned and returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry as well as asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and also started playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate any individual to solve the problem. As well as yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? Parent Management Training Worksheets
Because we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to settle disputes, and even just how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we want, you would be amazed at what’s possible.
Some readers may be curious about my other half, Antonio, and his 2 adolescent boys from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively as well, as well as the repair of their connection is nothing except miraculous.
So how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Parent Management Training Worksheets
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I have actually ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be hard to change your old ways. Yet gradually, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you won’t believe how much you’ve transformed, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I recommend anybody who is serious about becoming a more positive mommy or daddy to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Parent Management Training Worksheets
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.
In her cost-free class, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of every age to behave WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, and also find out how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button below. Parent Management Training Worksheets
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.