Parenting A Five Year Old – Just How I Chose Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Listen

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Parenting A Five Year Old
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mommy, I knew that I wished to do things differently than how I was raised. My mother and father did the very best they could, yet they didn’t have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools readily available today. Parenting A Five Year Old

There were a few books on our bookshelf about handling power struggles, exactly how to deal with the strong-willed child, and how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”

I’m unsure just what they found out in those books, but I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of yelling, and also a lot of just plain losing control.

It was a hard number of years. And our connection is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually begun to understand that, while no one is perfect, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mom.Parenting A Five Year Old

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my strategy Parenting A Five Year Old

My own experience with positive parenting began when my first child was born. I began checking out blogs concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and basically every other traditionally accepted parenting technique.

I began to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to have their needs fulfilled. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How all of these ideas cause healthy child development Parenting A Five Year Old

Parenting A Five Year Old

Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different point of view. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and had actually seen firsthand just how being the “mean father” could appear to work for the moment. However in the long run, it was only fostering disrespect, contempt and also bitterness in what was intended to be a loving parent-child relationship.

Considering his background and also finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and also implementing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Parenting A Five Year Old

First, let me inform you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding significant wrongdoing

• Giving your children whatever they ask for Parenting A Five Year Old

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no limits

You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method identifies the reality that collaboration consistently produces better long-lasting results than harsh control.

Moms and dads who embrace this design have learned to foster:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Establishing healthy boundaries

• Developing a child’s foundational character traits

Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … Nevertheless, what takes place as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?

• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be listened to as well as valued

• Helping kids to develop self-control

• Going deeper than mere outside conformity and also concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially started on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not picture that there were other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and yelling. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and I just had no framework for anything different. Parenting A Five Year Old

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to countless moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.

Right here are a number of the techniques Amy teaches to assist you to become the mother or daddy you have actually always intended to be, and help your child to reach his/her highest potential.

Identify the root of the behavior

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s commonly easier (and also much more common in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.

We can progress a whole lot farther toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They real needs just like you and me. As well as often times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Parenting A Five Year Old

As an example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from cloud nine one minute to major tantrum the next. Rather than battling a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Toddlers have little self-discipline to begin with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is typically a main feeling underneath it

• A lot of upset children are in fact frightened and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that must be met first. As an example, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Concentrate on meeting that big need first.

• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry due to the fact that I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I recognize it’s difficult because you genuinely wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if required.

• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a large hug and also say firmly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into fists and growl. The intent is to enable him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting benefits all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and everything in between. So let’s think about teenagers in our following example … Parenting A Five Year Old

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we wish to obtain from our child, we need to agree to offer before anyone else. If I am discourteous, controlling and also sarcastic to my teenager just due to the fact that I “have every right given that I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?

It is much easier to give respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or father, you can set the example and communicate to your young adult that you value their point of view, and you respect them as a person. Parenting A Five Year Old

This does not suggest you need to be a pushover. Yet it does mean you can be kind despite disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our young adult to treat us with even more regard, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. Parenting A Five Year Old

Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer support associate on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking about. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …

Just the other day, my two young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, and she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that came back and returned the swiped sticker, said sorry and requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and begun playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate anybody to fix the dispute. And also yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? Parenting A Five Year Old

Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to settle conflict, and even just how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will certainly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.

Some visitors might be wondering about my partner, Antonio, and his 2 adolescent sons from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has begun parenting positively too, as well as the repair of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.

How can you become a positive parent? Parenting A Five Year Old

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be challenging to transform your old parenting style. Yet bit by bit, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or more from now, you won’t think how much you’ve transformed, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I suggest anybody that is serious about becoming a more positive mom or dad to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Parenting A Five Year Old

You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.

In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and also find out how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the cost-free class by clicking the button below. Parenting A Five Year Old


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