Parenting Books For Preschoolers – Exactly How I Used Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Behave

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Parenting Books For Preschoolers
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mama, I knew that I wanted to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mother and father did the best job they could, however they didn’t have accessibility to the variety of positive parenting tools available today. Parenting Books For Preschoolers

There were a few books on our shelf regarding dealing with power struggles, exactly how to discipline the stubborn child, as well as just how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”

I’m unsure exactly what they discovered in those books, however I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a lot of screaming, and a great deal of just plain losing control.

It was a challenging period of time. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually come to realize that, while nobody is without fault, it is our obligation to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to stop the cycle when I came to be a mama.Parenting Books For Preschoolers

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my answer Parenting Books For Preschoolers

My own experience with positive parenting began when my first child was born. I began reviewing material about just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, screaming, severe punishments and practically every other generally approved parenting method.

I began to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to get their needs met. I learned more about:

• Problem-solving

• Solving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How all of these concepts cause healthy child development Parenting Books For Preschoolers

Parenting Books For Preschoolers

In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. But he brought a different point of view. He had 2 teen boys from a previous relationship, and had experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” could appear to help temporarily. In the long run, it was only fostering disrespect, contempt and bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child partnership.

Considering his background as well as learning specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying and also applying positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyway? Parenting Books For Preschoolers

Let me tell you what it does not indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a passive parent

• Ignoring significant misbehavior

• Providing your children every little thing they ask for Parenting Books For Preschoolers

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no limitations

You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach acknowledges the truth that cooperation consistently yields far better long-lasting outcomes than harsh control.

Parents who adopt this concept have actually learned to cultivate:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced limits

• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals

Encouraging children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … After all, what takes place as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?

• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be heard and valued

• Assisting kids to develop self-discipline

• Going deeper than simple outside conformity and also concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t believe that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also screaming. That’s how I was treated as a child, and therefore I just had no understanding about anything different. Parenting Books For Preschoolers

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Here are a couple of the techniques Amy teaches to help you to come to be the mother or daddy you’ve always wanted to be, and help your child to reach his/her full potential.

Find the root of the behavior

I told you this is deep. It’s usually easier (and much more common in today’s society) to presume children are simply spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

But we can progress a whole lot farther toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs similar to you and also me. As well as often times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. Parenting Books For Preschoolers

A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from cloud nine one minute to complete meltdown the next. So instead of dealing with a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Toddlers have little self-restraint to start with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is always a key feeling under it

• The majority of mad children are actually anxious and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that must be met initially. For example, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on addressing that huge need first.

• Empathize with his feelings without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely upset because I said we could not play at the park today. I recognize it’s difficult because you really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if necessary.

• Focusing too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a large hug and say loudly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and growl. The intent is to enable him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting works for any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everyone in between. So let’s think about young adults in our next scenario … Parenting Books For Preschoolers

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we intend to receive from our child, we need to want to give first. If I am rude, manipulative and sarcastic to my young adult just due to the fact that I “have every right given that I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?

It is a lot easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mama or dad, you can set the example and communicate to your teenager that you value their point of view, as well as you respect them as a person. Parenting Books For Preschoolers

This doesn’t imply you have to be a pushover. Yet it does imply you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our teenager to treat us with more regard, the primary step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Parenting Books For Preschoolers

Are you kind to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer service associate on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking of. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can answer this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …

Just a few days ago, my two girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, as well as she stated she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back and also returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and also requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged as well as begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten any person to solve the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? Parenting Books For Preschoolers

Because we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to fix conflict, as well as even how to say sorry. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we want, you would be amazed at what’s possible.

Some visitors might be curious about my husband, Antonio, and also his 2 teen boys from a previous relationship. Over time, Antonio has started parenting positively as well, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.

So how can you come to be a positive parent? Parenting Books For Preschoolers

This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to change your old way of life. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you won’t think how much you have actually altered, together with the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I suggest any individual that is serious about becoming an extra positive mom or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Parenting Books For Preschoolers

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her materials have been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.

In her cost-free class, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of every age to behave WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, as well as find out how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the totally free class by clicking the button below. Parenting Books For Preschoolers


Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

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