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When I initially came to be a mommy, I knew that I wished to do things differently than how I was raised. My mother and father did the best they could, however they didn’t have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools available today. Parenting.Ppt
There were a few books on our bookshelf about handling power struggles, how to discipline the strong-willed child, and how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad do not understand me.”
I’m unsure what exactly they found out in those books, yet I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a lot of yelling, as well as a great deal of just plain blowing up.
It was a hard period of time. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve come to realize that, while no one is perfect, it is our obligation to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wanted to stop the cycle when I became a mommy.Parenting.Ppt
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my solution Parenting.Ppt
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest little girl was born. I started checking out blog posts concerning how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, screaming, harsh punishments as well as pretty much every other traditionally accepted parenting method.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I know there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to have their needs satisfied. I found out about:
• Solving power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how all of these principles lead to healthy and balanced child development Parenting.Ppt
In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought his own unique viewpoint. He had two teen boys from a previous marriage, and had seen firsthand how being the “mean dad” might appear to benefit for the moment. Long-term, it was only fostering disrespect, anger as well as bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child connection.
Given his background and also learning specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying and following through with positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting mean anyway? Parenting.Ppt
Let me tell you what it doesn’t suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a lazy parent
• Disregarding significant misbehavior
• Giving your children whatever they want Parenting.Ppt
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no restrictions
You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the truth that cooperation always yields much better long-lasting results than harsh control.
Parents that adopt this design have actually learned to foster:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced limits
• Building a child’s foundational character traits
• Assisting children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they fear punishment if they do not … Nevertheless, what occurs as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is over?
• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be listened to as well as valued
• Encouraging kids to develop self-discipline
• Going deeper than mere external compliance as well as focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as screaming. That’s how I was parented, and I obviously had no framework for anything different. Parenting.Ppt
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.
Get to the root of the acting out
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s commonly simpler (and a lot more common in today’s society) to assume children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.
Yet we can get a whole lot farther towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs just like you and me. And many times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development spectrum. Parenting.Ppt
As an example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from happy one moment to major meltdown the next. Rather than battling a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is typically a main emotion underneath it
• The majority of mad children are in fact frightened and/or sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that must be addressed initially. For instance, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on meeting that big need first.
• Acknowledge his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly upset since I said we could not play at the park today. I recognize it’s hard because you genuinely wish to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, so I won’t allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if needed.
• Concentrating more on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and say “I am angry!” Or ball his hands into fists and also growl. The intent is to permit him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you earlier that positive parenting benefits any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens as well as everyone in between. So let’s think about teenagers in our next scenario … Parenting.Ppt
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we intend to get from our child, we must want to provide before anyone else. If I am impolite, controlling and sarcastic to my young adult simply since I “have every right given that I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you assume that communicates to my child?
It is a lot easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the example and show your teenager that you value their point of view, and also you respect them as an individual. Parenting.Ppt
This does not indicate you have to be a pushover. It does indicate you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our young adult to treat us with even more regard, the very first step is to see to it that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Parenting.Ppt
Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer service representative on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can address this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …
Just the other day, my two girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, as well as she said she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back and also returned the stolen sticker, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced as well as started playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or threaten anybody to settle the dispute. And also yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? Parenting.Ppt
Because we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, exactly how to settle disputes, as well as even exactly how to apologize. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, as well as model the habits we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors might be curious about my partner, Antonio, and also his two adolescent sons from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has started parenting positively too, and also the repair of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.
Just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Parenting.Ppt
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be difficult to change your old parenting style. But gradually, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you won’t believe just how much you have actually changed, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I recommend any individual that is serious about growing to be an extra positive mama or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Parenting.Ppt
You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media channels. Her materials have been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.
In her cost-free class, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of any age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and also discover how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the totally free class by clicking the button shown below. Parenting.Ppt
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