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When I initially became a mother, I recognized that I wished to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the very best they could, however they didn’t have accessibility to the plethora of positive parenting tools readily available today. Parenting Rewards And Responsibilities Answers
There were a couple of books on our bookshelf regarding handling power struggles, exactly how to deal with the stubborn child, and also exactly how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly recall thinking at the time, “My parents don’t understand me.”
I’m not exactly sure what exactly they found out in those books, however I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of yelling, and also a great deal of just plain tempers raging.
It was a hard number of years. And also our connection is still strained today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually come to understand that, while no one is perfect, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to stop the cycle when I became a mommy.Parenting Rewards And Responsibilities Answers
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my plan Parenting Rewards And Responsibilities Answers
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my first little girl was born. I started reading blogs regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, shouting, harsh punishments and also virtually every other generally accepted parenting strategy.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow every person to have their needs met. I found out about:
• Handling power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how all of these concepts result in healthy child development Parenting Rewards And Responsibilities Answers
During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought his own unique viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous relationship, and had actually experienced firsthand just how being the “mean father” could appear to work temporarily. In the long run, it was only breeding disrespect, contempt and bitterness in what was meant to be a caring parent-child connection.
Considering his history as well as finding out exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying as well as employing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyway? Parenting Rewards And Responsibilities Answers
Let me inform you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Disregarding major misbehavior
• Giving your children whatever they ask for Parenting Rewards And Responsibilities Answers
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”
• Having no boundaries
You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique identifies the fact that cooperation consistently produces far better lasting outcomes than forced control.
Moms and dads who adopt this concept have figured out how to foster:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries
• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals
• Assisting children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they are afraid of retribution if they do not … Nevertheless, what occurs once they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?
• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Encouraging kids to develop self-control
• Going much deeper than mere outside compliance as well as focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also shouting. That’s how I was raised, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. Parenting Rewards And Responsibilities Answers
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Below are a couple of the techniques Amy teaches to help you to come to be the mother or daddy you have actually always wanted to be, and also encourage your child to reach his or her highest potential.
Get to the root of the acting out
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s often simpler (and also a lot more usual in today’s society) to assume children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.
Yet we can get a lot further toward solving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs similar to you and me. And many times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development spectrum. Parenting Rewards And Responsibilities Answers
A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-discipline) is not yet formed. That implies they can go from cloud nine one minute to major tantrum the next. Instead of combating a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Young children have little self-control to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is always a key emotion underneath it
• Most mad children are actually scared and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that must be met initially. As an example, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Concentrate on addressing that large need initially.
• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really angry since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I recognize it’s difficult because you truly wish to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, so I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if needed.
• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The goal is to enable him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting helps any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everything in between. So let’s think about teens in our following scenario … Parenting Rewards And Responsibilities Answers
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we want to get from our child, we have to be willing to offer. If I am rude, manipulative and sarcastic to my young adult merely due to the fact that I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to offer respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or father, you can set the standard and show your young adult that you value their opinion, and also you respect them as an individual. Parenting Rewards And Responsibilities Answers
This does not suggest you need to be a pushover. But it does imply you can be kind when faced with problems. It will accomplish more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our young adult to treat us with more regard, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. Parenting Rewards And Responsibilities Answers
Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer service representative on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking of. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this one with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …
Just a few days ago, my two daughters were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned and returned the stolen sticker, apologized as well as requested forgiveness.
They made up, hugged as well as begun playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or manipulate any individual to resolve the conflict. And yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? Parenting Rewards And Responsibilities Answers
Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, just how to settle disputes, and also even just how to apologize. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, as well as model the habits we desire, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some readers may be curious about my husband, Antonio, as well as his two teenage sons from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has started parenting positively also, and the repair of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.
So exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? Parenting Rewards And Responsibilities Answers
This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be challenging to alter your old way of life. Yet little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or 2 from now, you won’t think how much you have actually transformed, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.
I suggest any person that is serious about coming to be a more positive mama or daddy to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Parenting Rewards And Responsibilities Answers
You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her materials have been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents around the world, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.
In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and discover how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button shown below. Parenting Rewards And Responsibilities Answers
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