Parenting Tips For School – Exactly How I Used Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Parenting Tips For School
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mother, I understood that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best job they could, but they didn’t have accessibility to the variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Parenting Tips For School

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf concerning dealing with power struggles, exactly how to deal with the stubborn child, and also how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad don’t understand me.”

I’m not sure what exactly they learned in those books, however I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, and also a lot of just plain tempers raging.

It was a tough number of years. And our connection is still not the best today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve come to realize that, while nobody is perfect, it is our responsibility to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wanted to stop the cycle when I became a mom.Parenting Tips For School

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan Parenting Tips For School

My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I began reading material regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, shouting, harsh punishments and also pretty much every other generally approved parenting strategy.

I began to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I realize there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs satisfied. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Handling power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how all of these concepts result in healthy child development Parenting Tips For School

Parenting Tips For School

During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different perspective. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had witnessed firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” might appear to work temporarily. In the long run, it was only promoting disrespect, anger and resentment in what was intended to be a loving parent-child connection.

Given his background and also finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining as well as following through with positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Parenting Tips For School

First, let me tell you what it does not indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding major wrongdoing

• Offering your children everything they want Parenting Tips For School

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”

• Having no boundaries

You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the truth that collaboration consistently generates better long-lasting results than strict control.

Parents who embrace this design have actually learned to foster:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced boundaries

• Developing a child’s fundamental character qualities

Assisting children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Nevertheless, what happens as soon as they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?

• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be listened to and valued

• Helping kids to develop self-restraint

• Going deeper than simple exterior compliance as well as focusing on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially started on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also screaming. That’s how I was raised, and therefore I obviously had no understanding about anything different. Parenting Tips For School

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.

Right here are a number of the techniques Amy teaches to encourage you to evolve into the mama or daddy you’ve always wished to be, as well as encourage your child to reach his or her highest potential.

Identify the root of the behavior

I told you this is deep. It’s typically much easier (as well as extra common in today’s world) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

Yet we can get a lot more towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs much like you and also me. And many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Parenting Tips For School

For example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-restraint) is not yet matured. That means they can go from happy one minute to major meltdown the next. Rather than fighting a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Toddlers have little self-discipline to begin with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that means there is always a key emotion under it

• Many angry children are actually frightened and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that need to be addressed first. For instance, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Focus on meeting that large need first.

• Empathize with his feelings without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad due to the fact that I said we could not play at the park today. I recognize it’s hard because you truly wish to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if required.

• Focusing more on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a big hug and also say firmly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and also growl. The goal is to allow him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting benefits all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and everything in between. So let’s think about teens in our following scenario … Parenting Tips For School

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we desire to get from our child, we need to be willing to provide. If I am rude, controlling as well as sarcastic to my young adult simply because I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you think that communicates to my child?

It is much easier to provide respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or dad, you can set the standard as well as communicate to your teenager that you value their viewpoint, and also you appreciate them as an individual. Parenting Tips For School

This doesn’t suggest you have to be a pushover. But it does suggest you can be kind despite conflict. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our young adult to treat us with more regard, the very first step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. Parenting Tips For School

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer service representative on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking about. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could address this with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …

Just a few days ago, my two young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, as well as she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned and returned the stolen sticker, apologized and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and also begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate anybody to deal with the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You know why? Parenting Tips For School

Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to resolve disputes, and even just how to apologize. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everybody around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.

Some readers might be wondering about my hubby, Antonio, as well as his two teen sons from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has begun parenting positively also, and also the restoration of their connection is nothing except a miracle.

How can you come to be a positive parent? Parenting Tips For School

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to change your old parenting style. However little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you will not believe how much you have actually altered, together with the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I advise any individual who is serious about growing to be a much more positive mommy or dad to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Parenting Tips For School

You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her products have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.

In her totally free class, Amy shares how to help kids of every age to behave WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, as well as find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the free webinar by clicking the button shown below. Parenting Tips For School


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