Peaceful Child Recipe – Just How I Applied Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Behave

Please note: This post contains affiliate links.

Peaceful Child Recipe
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mama, I recognized that I wanted to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best they could, yet they really did not have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools offered today. Peaceful Child Recipe

There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning dealing with power struggles, exactly how to discipline the strong-willed child, and also just how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My parents don’t understand me.”

I’m unsure what exactly they found out in those books, however I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, and also a lot of just plain blowing up.

It was a tough period of time. And also our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve begun to recognize that, while no one is perfect, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I intended to stop the cycle when I became a mama.Peaceful Child Recipe

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my solution Peaceful Child Recipe

My own experience with positive parenting started when my first daughter was born. I began reading material about how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, screaming, harsh punishments as well as virtually every other typically accepted parenting technique.

I started to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I know there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow every person to get their needs met. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Managing power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how every one of these ideas lead to healthy child development Peaceful Child Recipe

Peaceful Child Recipe

During my learning experience, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique perspective. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” could appear to benefit for the moment. However in the long run, it was only breeding disrespect, contempt as well as bitterness in what was meant to be a caring parent-child connection.

Considering his background and also learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and implementing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Peaceful Child Recipe

First, let me inform you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding significant misbehavior

• Offering your children everything they want Peaceful Child Recipe

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”

• Having no restrictions

You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method recognizes the reality that cooperation consistently yields far better long-term outcomes than strict control.

Moms and dads that embrace this design have learned to foster:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Establishing healthy limits

• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals

Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … After all, what happens when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is over?

• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be listened to and valued

• Helping kids to develop self-discipline

• Going much deeper than plain outside conformity and also concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not envision that there were other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also screaming. That’s how I was raised, and I simply had no understanding about anything different. Peaceful Child Recipe

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.

Right here are a couple of the strategies Amy reveals to assist you to become the mom or father you’ve always wanted to be, as well as assist your child to reach his or her highest potential.

Get to the root of the behavior

I told you this is deep. It’s commonly widely accepted (and more usual in today’s world) to presume children are simply spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

We can get a lot farther toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs much like you and also me. And also most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development spectrum. Peaceful Child Recipe

A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet matured. That suggests they can go from happy one minute to major meltdown the next. So as opposed to dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-restraint to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is always a primary feeling under it

• Most mad children are really frightened and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that need to be addressed initially. As an example, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Focus on meeting that big need first.

• Validate his feelings without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re really upset since I said we could not play at the park today. I know it’s tough since you truly want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if required.

• Focusing too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a big hug and also say “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into fists and also growl. The intent is to permit him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting helps any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and everything in between. So let’s talk about young adults in our following scenario … Peaceful Child Recipe

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we want to obtain from our child, we need to be prepared to give. If I am disrespectful, controlling and sarcastic to my teenager merely since I “have every right since I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?

It is a lot easier to provide respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or daddy, you can set the standard and also show your teenager that you value their point of view, and also you respect them as a person. Peaceful Child Recipe

This doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will accomplish a lot more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our young adult to treat us with more regard, the first step is to see to it that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. Peaceful Child Recipe

Are you kind to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer service representative on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be considering. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could address this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …

Just the other day, my two young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and also she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned as well as returned the stolen sticker, said sorry as well as asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate any individual to deal with the dispute. And yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You know why? Peaceful Child Recipe

Since we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to settle conflict, as well as even exactly how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everybody around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we want, you would be amazed at what’s possible.

Some readers could be curious about my spouse, Antonio, and his 2 adolescent sons from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, as well as the repair of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.

Exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? Peaceful Child Recipe

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever before done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be hard to alter your old way of life. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you will not think how much you’ve changed, together with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I recommend anybody who is serious about growing to be a much more positive mommy or daddy to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Peaceful Child Recipe

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media channels. Her materials have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can really use every day.

In her totally free class, Amy shares just how to help kids of any age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, and find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the free webinar by clicking the button below. Peaceful Child Recipe


Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

error: Content is protected !!