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When I initially became a mama, I knew that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the very best they could, but they didn’t have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools available today. Peaceful Parent Happy Kid Audiobook Free
There were a couple of books on our shelf regarding handling power struggles, how to control the strong-willed child, and how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad do not understand me.”
I’m not exactly sure just what they found out in those books, but I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a lot of yelling, and also a lot of just plain losing control.
It was a tough number of years. And also our connection is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I have actually begun to realize that, while no person is without flaws, it is our duty to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wished to break the cycle when I came to be a mommy.Peaceful Parent Happy Kid Audiobook Free
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach Peaceful Parent Happy Kid Audiobook Free
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first little girl was born. I began reading articles concerning how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, shouting, extreme punishments and also pretty much every other commonly approved parenting method.
I began to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to get their needs fulfilled. I found out about:
• Managing power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How every one of these concepts result in healthy child development Peaceful Parent Happy Kid Audiobook Free
Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought his own unique point of view. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually experienced firsthand just how being the “mean father” could seem to help for the moment. But long-term, it was just promoting disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was expected to be a loving parent-child connection.
Given his background as well as learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and applying positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Peaceful Parent Happy Kid Audiobook Free
Let me tell you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Overlooking significant misbehavior
• Giving your children whatever they want Peaceful Parent Happy Kid Audiobook Free
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no restrictions
You might hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the truth that collaboration always produces better long-term results than forced control.
Parents who embrace this design have actually learned to cultivate:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced limits
• Building a child’s foundational character qualities
• Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … After all, what occurs as soon as they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is over?
• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be listened to as well as valued
• Assisting kids to develop self-discipline
• Going deeper than plain outward conformity and also concentrating on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began down the road of gentle parenting, I could not imagine that there were various other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as yelling. That’s how I was raised, and therefore I simply had no framework for anything different. Peaceful Parent Happy Kid Audiobook Free
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.
Identify the root of the acting out
I mentioned this is deep. It’s frequently easier (as well as extra common in today’s world) to presume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
We can progress a great deal further toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs just like you as well as me. And also frequently their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Peaceful Parent Happy Kid Audiobook Free
A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-restraint) is not yet formed. That suggests they can go from happy one minute to complete tantrum the next. Rather than battling a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Toddlers have little self-discipline to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is always a primary emotion under it
• Most upset children are really scared and/or sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that have to be met initially. For example, if a child is starving or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Focus on addressing that huge need initially.
• Validate his feelings without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re truly mad due to the fact that I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I know it’s hard because you really wish to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and also I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if needed.
• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a big hug and say firmly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and growl. The point is to enable him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you previously that positive parenting benefits every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and everyone in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our next example … Peaceful Parent Happy Kid Audiobook Free
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we intend to get from our child, we must be willing to offer before anyone else. If I am disrespectful, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my teen simply since I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you assume that reveals to my child?
It is a lot easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the standard and communicate to your teenager that you value their point of view, as well as you appreciate them as a person. Peaceful Parent Happy Kid Audiobook Free
This doesn’t indicate you need to be a pushover. But it does mean you can be kind despite disputes. It will accomplish more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teenager to treat us with more respect, the initial step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Peaceful Parent Happy Kid Audiobook Free
Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer service representative on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can address this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …
Just recently, my 2 daughters were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that came back and also returned the swiped sticker, apologized as well as asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and begun playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or manipulate any individual to settle the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You know why? Peaceful Parent Happy Kid Audiobook Free
Since we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, exactly how to resolve conflict, and also even exactly how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, as well as model the habits we want, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.
Some readers may be curious about my husband, Antonio, and his 2 teen sons from a previous relationship. Over time, Antonio has begun parenting positively also, as well as the restoration of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.
Just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Peaceful Parent Happy Kid Audiobook Free
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to change your old ways. Little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or two from now, you won’t believe how much you’ve altered, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I advise any person who is serious about growing to be an extra positive mother or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Peaceful Parent Happy Kid Audiobook Free
You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.
In her totally free class, Amy shares just how to get kids of any age to listen WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, as well as discover how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button below. Peaceful Parent Happy Kid Audiobook Free
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