Peaceful Parent Workshop – How I Applied Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Behave

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Peaceful Parent Workshop
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mommy, I knew that I wanted to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best they could, however they really did not have accessibility to the huge selection of positive parenting tools available today. Peaceful Parent Workshop

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf about taking care of power struggles, how to discipline the strong-willed child, and also just how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I distinctly recall thinking at the time, “My mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m uncertain what exactly they found out in those books, however I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and a great deal of just plain losing control.

It was a difficult period of time. And also our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve begun to realize that, while no one is without fault, it is our responsibility to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I intended to break the cycle when I became a mother.Peaceful Parent Workshop

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my strategy Peaceful Parent Workshop

My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest daughter was born. I began reviewing blogs concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, shouting, severe punishments as well as pretty much every other traditionally approved parenting technique.

I started to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I realize there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to have their needs met. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Managing power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How all of these principles cause healthy child development Peaceful Parent Workshop

Peaceful Parent Workshop

Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought a different viewpoint. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and had actually observed firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” could seem to help for the moment. In the long run, it was only promoting disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was meant to be a caring parent-child partnership.

Considering his background and also discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and implementing positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyway? Peaceful Parent Workshop

Initially, let me inform you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids run wild

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding major misbehavior

• Providing your children every little thing they want Peaceful Parent Workshop

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”

• Having no restrictions

You may see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach acknowledges the truth that cooperation consistently produces far better long-lasting results than forced control.

Moms and dads who adopt this design have figured out how to promote:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Establishing healthy limits

• Developing a child’s fundamental character traits

Assisting children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they fear retribution if they don’t … Besides, what takes place when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be listened to as well as valued

• Helping kids to establish self-control

• Going deeper than simple external conformity and also concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started down the road of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also screaming. That’s exactly how I was raised, and I just had no understanding about anything different. Peaceful Parent Workshop

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.

Right here are a couple of the techniques Amy shares to assist you to become the mama or daddy you have actually always intended to be, and also encourage your child to reach his/her complete potential.

Get to the root of the misbehavior

I mentioned this is deep. It’s frequently easier (and also a lot more typical in today’s world) to think children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

We can progress a great deal more towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs much like you and also me. As well as most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Peaceful Parent Workshop

For example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet developed. That means they can go from joyful one moment to complete tantrum the next. Rather than battling a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is always a primary emotion under it

• Most upset children are in fact frightened and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that need to be addressed initially. For example, if a child is starving or exhausted, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Focus on addressing that large need initially.

• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re truly angry because I said we could not go to the park today. I understand it’s tough because you genuinely wish to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if necessary.

• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and say “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and growl. The intent is to allow him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting helps every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens as well as everyone in between. So let’s use young adults in our next example … Peaceful Parent Workshop

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to receive from our child, we should be willing to provide. If I am discourteous, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teen just since I “have every right because I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or father, you can set the standard and show your teenager that you value their point of view, and also you respect them as a person. Peaceful Parent Workshop

This doesn’t suggest you have to be a pushover. But it does mean you can be kind despite disputes. It will accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our teenager to treat us with more respect, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. Peaceful Parent Workshop

Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer service representative on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be considering. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could address this with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …

Just the other day, my 2 young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, as well as she claimed she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back as well as returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and also asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged as well as started playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten any individual to settle the conflict. And also yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? Peaceful Parent Workshop

Since we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, just how to resolve conflict, and even just how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everyone around us with respect, as well as model the actions we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some readers may be curious about my hubby, Antonio, and also his two adolescent sons from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively too, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.

So exactly how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Peaceful Parent Workshop

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I have actually ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to alter your old ways. But bit by bit, you will make improvements. And a year or more from now, you won’t think how much you’ve transformed, along with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I recommend anybody that is serious about becoming an extra positive mommy or daddy to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Peaceful Parent Workshop

You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her materials have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.

In her cost-free class, Amy shares how to get kids of any age to behave WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and find out how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the free webinar by clicking the button shown below. Peaceful Parent Workshop


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