Peaceful Parenting Brings Happy – Exactly How I Chose Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Peaceful Parenting Brings Happy
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially became a mother, I knew that I wished to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the very best they could, but they really did not have access to the huge selection of positive parenting tools readily available today. Peaceful Parenting Brings Happy

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf concerning dealing with power struggles, just how to discipline the strong-willed child, and exactly how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My mom and dad don’t understand me.”

I’m uncertain exactly what they found out in those books, yet I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and also a lot of just plain blowing up.

It was a challenging number of years. And our connection is still not the best today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually come to understand that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to stop the cycle when I became a mother.Peaceful Parenting Brings Happy

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my approach Peaceful Parenting Brings Happy

My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest child was born. I started reading blog posts regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, screaming, severe punishments and basically every other generally approved parenting method.

I began to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to get their needs satisfied. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how all of these principles bring about healthy and balanced child development Peaceful Parenting Brings Happy

Peaceful Parenting Brings Happy

Along the way, my husband Antonio joined my journey. But he brought his own unique point of view. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had actually witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean father” could seem to work temporarily. Yet long-term, it was just breeding disrespect, contempt and also bitterness in what was intended to be a loving parent-child partnership.

Given his history and also learning precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and also implementing positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Peaceful Parenting Brings Happy

Let me tell you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Overlooking significant wrongdoing

• Giving your children whatever they ask for Peaceful Parenting Brings Happy

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”

• Having no limitations

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique identifies the truth that collaboration consistently generates much better long-term results than forced control.

Parents that embrace this design have actually learned to promote:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Establishing healthy boundaries

• Developing a child’s fundamental character qualities

Assisting children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear punishment if they do not … Besides, what occurs when they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is removed?

• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be listened to and also valued

• Assisting kids to grow their self-restraint

• Going deeper than simple exterior compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and shouting. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and I simply had no understanding about anything different. Peaceful Parenting Brings Happy

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually acted as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.

Here are a couple of the methods Amy teaches to assist you to become the mother or dad you’ve always wanted to be, as well as encourage your child to reach his or her full potential.

Get to the root of the misbehavior

I mentioned this is deep. It’s commonly much easier (and extra usual in today’s world) to assume children are simply spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

Yet we can get a great deal farther towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs just like you and me. And often times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Peaceful Parenting Brings Happy

For instance, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-discipline) is not yet developed. That implies they can go from joyful one moment to major tantrum the next. So instead of battling a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Toddlers have little self-restraint to start with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is always a main emotion beneath it

• Most angry children are really frightened and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that must be met first. As an example, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Focus on meeting that large need first.

• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry since I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s difficult because you truly wish to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and also I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if needed.

• Concentrating more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a big hug and also say firmly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The point is to permit him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting works for any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everything in between. So let’s use young adults in our following scenario … Peaceful Parenting Brings Happy

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we wish to get from our child, we should be willing to give first. If I am rude, manipulative and also sarcastic to my young adult merely because I “have every right because I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?

It is a lot easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or dad, you can set the standard and also show your young adult that you value their viewpoint, and also you respect them as an individual. Peaceful Parenting Brings Happy

This doesn’t indicate you have to be a pushover. But it does imply you can be kind despite conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our teen to treat us with more regard, the initial step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Peaceful Parenting Brings Happy

Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer care associate on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking of. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can answer this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …

Just a few days ago, my two young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, as well as she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned and also returned the swiped sticker label, apologized and requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced as well as started playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or intimidate any person to deal with the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You know why? Peaceful Parenting Brings Happy

Since we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to fix conflict, as well as even how to apologize. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will certainly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat every person around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we desire, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some readers may be curious about my hubby, Antonio, and also his 2 adolescent sons from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively also, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.

So how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Peaceful Parenting Brings Happy

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to change your old ways. But little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe just how much you have actually altered, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I advise any individual who is serious about coming to be a much more positive mother or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Peaceful Parenting Brings Happy

You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her materials have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely apply every day.

In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares how to help kids of any age to behave WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, and also learn how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the totally free webinar by clicking the button shown below. Peaceful Parenting Brings Happy


Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

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