Peaceful Parenting Coach – How I Chose Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Behave

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Peaceful Parenting Coach
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially became a mama, I knew that I wanted to do things differently than how I was raised. My mother and father did the very best they could, yet they didn’t have access to the variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Peaceful Parenting Coach

There were a few books on our bookshelf about dealing with power struggles, how to discipline the stubborn child, and just how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”

I’m unsure just what they learned in those books, yet I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, as well as a great deal of just plain losing control.

It was a hard number of years. And also our connection is still not the best today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to recognize that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mom.Peaceful Parenting Coach

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer Peaceful Parenting Coach

My own experience with positive parenting began when my first little girl was born. I began checking out articles regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, shouting, harsh punishments and also pretty much every other traditionally approved parenting method.

I started to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow every person to get their needs fulfilled. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Solving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how every one of these ideas bring about healthy and balanced child development Peaceful Parenting Coach

Peaceful Parenting Coach

During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had witnessed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” might appear to benefit for the moment. Yet long-term, it was just promoting disrespect, contempt and bitterness in what was intended to be a caring parent-child connection.

Considering his history as well as discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and applying positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyway? Peaceful Parenting Coach

Let me inform you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids run wild

• Being a passive parent

• Ignoring significant wrongdoing

• Offering your children everything they want Peaceful Parenting Coach

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no limits

You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the truth that cooperation always produces much better long-term outcomes than forced control.

Moms and dads that embrace this design have learned to promote:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Setting healthy limits

• Building a child’s fundamental character qualities

Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they fear punishment if they don’t … Nevertheless, what happens when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is over?

• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be listened to and also valued

• Helping kids to develop self-discipline

• Going much deeper than plain external compliance and focusing on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t imagine that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as yelling. That’s just how I was raised, and therefore I obviously had no framework for anything different. Peaceful Parenting Coach

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually served as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.

Below are a number of the techniques Amy reveals to encourage you to become the mother or daddy you have actually always intended to be, and encourage your child to reach his/her full potential.

Identify the root of the acting out

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s often widely accepted (and also a lot more common in today’s society) to presume children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

Yet we can get a great deal farther towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs much like you and also me. And also frequently their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. Peaceful Parenting Coach

For example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from cloud nine one moment to major tantrum the next. So rather than fighting a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Toddlers have little self-discipline to begin with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is always a primary emotion below it

• Most angry children are actually anxious and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that should be met initially. For instance, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on meeting that large need first.

• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly angry since I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I understand it’s difficult due to the fact that you truly want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if required.

• Focusing too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a large hug and say loudly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into fists and growl. The point is to enable him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting benefits any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s talk about young adults in our next scenario … Peaceful Parenting Coach

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to obtain from our child, we should be willing to give first. If I am impolite, controlling and sarcastic to my teenager merely due to the fact that I “have every right since I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?

It is a lot easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mama or daddy, you can set the standard and communicate to your teen that you value their opinion, and you respect them as a person. Peaceful Parenting Coach

This does not mean you need to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will accomplish a lot more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teen to treat us with even more regard, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Peaceful Parenting Coach

Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer support associate on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking of. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …

Just the other day, my 2 daughters were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and she stated she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back as well as returned the swiped sticker, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and started playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten anybody to settle the conflict. And also yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You know why? Peaceful Parenting Coach

Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to deal with disputes, as well as even how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everyone around us with respect, as well as model the habits we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.

Some visitors could be curious about my other half, Antonio, and also his 2 adolescent boys from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively as well, and also the restoration of their relationship is nothing except miraculous.

So exactly how can you become a positive parent? Peaceful Parenting Coach

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I have actually ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be tough to change your old ways. But bit by bit, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you will not believe just how much you’ve altered, together with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I suggest any individual that is serious about becoming an extra positive mom or dad to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Peaceful Parenting Coach

You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media channels. Her products have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.

In her free class, Amy shares how to help kids of any age to behave WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and discover how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the free webinar by clicking the button below. Peaceful Parenting Coach


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