Peaceful Parenting Consequences – Just How I Applied Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Behave

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Peaceful Parenting Consequences
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially became a mom, I understood that I intended to do things in different ways than how I was raised. My mother and father did the very best they could, however they didn’t have accessibility to the plethora of positive parenting tools readily available today. Peaceful Parenting Consequences

There were a few books on our bookshelf about managing power struggles, just how to discipline the strong-willed child, and also just how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I definitely remember thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”

I’m uncertain what exactly they learned in those books, but I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of yelling, as well as a great deal of just plain tempers raging.

It was a difficult period of time. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I have truly forgiven them for what happened. I’ve begun to realize that, while nobody is without fault, it is our obligation to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mama.Peaceful Parenting Consequences

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer Peaceful Parenting Consequences

My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest little girl was born. I began checking out material concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, shouting, severe punishments and also basically every other generally accepted parenting method.

I began to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to have their needs fulfilled. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how all of these concepts result in healthy and balanced child development Peaceful Parenting Consequences

Peaceful Parenting Consequences

In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique viewpoint. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and also had actually seen firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” may appear to work for the moment. In the long run, it was only fostering disrespect, contempt and bitterness in what was expected to be a loving parent-child connection.

Given his history and also finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying and applying positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Peaceful Parenting Consequences

Initially, let me inform you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding significant misbehavior

• Giving your children whatever they want Peaceful Parenting Consequences

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no limitations

You might hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach recognizes the reality that collaboration consistently generates far better long-lasting results than harsh control.

Moms and dads who embrace this design have actually learned to cultivate:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Setting healthy boundaries

• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals

Assisting children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they fear retribution if they do not … Nevertheless, what takes place once they’re adults and the threat of punishment is eliminated?

• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be heard and also valued

• Assisting kids to develop self-restraint

• Going much deeper than mere exterior conformity and also focusing on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t believe that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and screaming. That’s how I was raised, and therefore I just had no understanding about anything different. Peaceful Parenting Consequences

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert as well as creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.

Right here are a number of the strategies Amy teaches to help you to evolve into the mama or daddy you’ve always wanted to be, as well as assist your child to reach his/her full potential.

Identify the root of the behavior

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s commonly easier (and extra usual in today’s world) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.

We can progress a great deal farther towards fixing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs similar to you as well as me. As well as most times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. Peaceful Parenting Consequences

A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-restraint) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from happy one moment to major tantrum the next. Instead of battling a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is typically a key emotion below it

• Many angry children are in fact frightened and/or very sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that have to be addressed initially. For instance, if a child is hungry or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that big need initially.

• Acknowledge his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re really mad due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s hard because you genuinely want to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, and I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if needed.

• Concentrating more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and also say firmly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and growl. The goal is to permit him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting helps every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everyone in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our following scenario … Peaceful Parenting Consequences

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we desire to get from our child, we must be eager to give. If I am rude, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my young adult merely because I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you think that communicates to my child?

It is a lot easier to provide respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mama or father, you can set the standard and also show your young adult that you value their point of view, and you respect them as a person. Peaceful Parenting Consequences

This does not suggest you need to be a pushover. It does suggest you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our teen to treat us with even more respect, the primary step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Peaceful Parenting Consequences

Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer service rep on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be considering. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …

Just the other day, my two girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, and she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry and requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged as well as begun playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate anyone to deal with the dispute. And yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You recognize why? Peaceful Parenting Consequences

Because we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, just how to fix conflict, and even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, and model the habits we want, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some readers could be wondering about my hubby, Antonio, as well as his 2 teenage sons from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively as well, and the restoration of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.

Just how can you become a positive parent? Peaceful Parenting Consequences

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to alter your old parenting style. But bit by bit, you will make improvements. As well as a year or more from now, you will not believe how much you have actually changed, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I advise anybody who is serious about growing to be a much more positive mother or father to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Peaceful Parenting Consequences

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.

In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of any age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, as well as discover how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the totally free webinar by clicking the button shown below. Peaceful Parenting Consequences


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