Peaceful Parenting Definition – Exactly How I Used Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Peaceful Parenting Definition
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially became a mother, I knew that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best job they could, but they really did not have access to the variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Peaceful Parenting Definition

There were a few books on our shelf about managing power struggles, how to control the stubborn child, as well as just how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”

I’m uncertain what exactly they discovered in those books, however I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of shouting, and also a great deal of just plain blowing up.

It was a hard period of time. And our relationship is still strained today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve come to realize that, while no person is without fault, it is our obligation to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wanted to break the cycle when I became a mama.Peaceful Parenting Definition

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my answer Peaceful Parenting Definition

My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I began reviewing blogs regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, shouting, severe punishments and also practically every other traditionally approved parenting technique.

I started to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to have their needs met. I learned more about:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how every one of these concepts bring about healthy child development Peaceful Parenting Definition

Peaceful Parenting Definition

In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different point of view. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and had observed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” may seem to work for the moment. Long-term, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt and also bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child connection.

Given his background as well as discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and also following through with positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Peaceful Parenting Definition

Initially, let me inform you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids run wild

• Being a passive parent

• Overlooking significant wrongdoing

• Offering your children everything they want Peaceful Parenting Definition

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no limits

You might hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the truth that collaboration consistently produces better long-term outcomes than strict control.

Parents that adopt this concept have learned to promote:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Establishing healthy and balanced limits

• Developing a child’s fundamental character and morals

Encouraging children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Nevertheless, what takes place when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is eliminated?

• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be heard and valued

• Assisting kids to develop self-control

• Going deeper than plain outward conformity and also focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started down the path of gentle parenting, I could not imagine that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also yelling. That’s just how I was parented, and therefore I just had no understanding about anything different. Peaceful Parenting Definition

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and also owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually served as parenting guide to countless moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.

Right here are a couple of the methods Amy teaches to help you to evolve into the mama or father you’ve always wanted to be, as well as assist your child to reach his or her full potential.

Identify the root of the misbehavior

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s commonly much easier (as well as much more usual in today’s society) to assume children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

We can get a great deal more toward solving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs much like you as well as me. And also most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development spectrum. Peaceful Parenting Definition

For instance, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-discipline) is not yet matured. That implies they can go from happy one minute to complete tantrum the next. Instead of fighting a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Toddlers have little self-control to start with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is typically a primary feeling below it

• Many upset children are actually scared and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that need to be addressed first. For example, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Focus on meeting that big need first.

• Validate his feelings without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly angry because I said we could not go to the park today. I understand it’s tough because you truly want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if needed.

• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a big hug and also say firmly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and also growl. The point is to permit him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting benefits any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s use teens in our following scenario … Peaceful Parenting Definition

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we wish to receive from our child, we have to agree to provide first. If I am rude, manipulative and sarcastic to my teenager merely due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or dad, you can set the standard as well as communicate to your teenager that you value their opinion, and also you respect them as an individual. Peaceful Parenting Definition

This does not mean you have to be a pushover. Yet it does suggest you can be kind when faced with disputes. It will accomplish more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our teenager to treat us with more regard, the initial step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Peaceful Parenting Definition

Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer service rep on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can answer this one with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …

Just a few days ago, my two young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, and also she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned and returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry as well as requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and also begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate anyone to fix the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You recognize why? Peaceful Parenting Definition

Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, just how to fix conflict, and also even how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everyone around us with respect, and model the habits we want, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some readers might be curious about my hubby, Antonio, and also his 2 adolescent boys from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has begun parenting positively also, as well as the restoration of their relationship is nothing except miraculous.

Just how can you come to be a positive parent? Peaceful Parenting Definition

This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be tough to change your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe how much you have actually changed, together with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I suggest anyone who is serious about growing to be a more positive mommy or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Peaceful Parenting Definition

You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her products have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.

In her cost-free class, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, as well as learn how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the free webinar by clicking the button shown below. Peaceful Parenting Definition


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