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When I initially came to be a mom, I knew that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best job they could, yet they really did not have access to the huge selection of positive parenting tools available today. Peaceful Parenting Meditation
There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning dealing with power struggles, just how to discipline the stubborn child, as well as just how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure just what they learned in those books, yet I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a lot of yelling, and also a lot of just plain tempers raging.
It was a challenging period of time. And also our relationship is still strained today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve begun to realize that, while no person is without fault, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I intended to stop the cycle when I came to be a mom.Peaceful Parenting Meditation
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my plan Peaceful Parenting Meditation
My own experience with positive parenting started when my first daughter was born. I started checking out articles concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed with spanking, yelling, extreme punishments and also practically every other traditionally approved parenting method.
I started to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to have their needs met. I found out about:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How all of these ideas result in healthy child development Peaceful Parenting Meditation
In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different perspective. He had two teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually experienced firsthand how being the “mean dad” could appear to work temporarily. But in the long run, it was just fostering disrespect, anger as well as bitterness in what was expected to be a loving parent-child relationship.
Considering his history as well as finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and also employing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Peaceful Parenting Meditation
Let me inform you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a lazy parent
• Disregarding significant misbehavior
• Offering your children every little thing they ask for Peaceful Parenting Meditation
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no limits
You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the fact that collaboration consistently generates better long-term outcomes than strict control.
Moms and dads who embrace this concept have figured out how to cultivate:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals
• Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not since they fear retribution if they do not … Nevertheless, what happens when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be heard and valued
• Helping kids to grow their self-restraint
• Going much deeper than mere exterior conformity and also concentrating on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were various other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and yelling. That’s exactly how I was raised, and therefore I simply had no framework for anything different. Peaceful Parenting Meditation
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Right here are a number of the strategies Amy teaches to encourage you to evolve into the mommy or daddy you have actually always intended to be, as well as assist your child to reach his/her full potential.
Get to the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep. It’s commonly much easier (and also extra typical in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.
Yet we can get a lot farther toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs similar to you and also me. And also often times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. Peaceful Parenting Meditation
A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet formed. That indicates they can go from delighted one minute to complete meltdown the next. Rather than fighting a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is typically a key feeling underneath it
• Most mad children are really frightened and/or sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that should be addressed initially. For instance, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on addressing that huge need first.
• Validate his emotions without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re truly upset because I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I understand it’s hard because you truly want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if needed.
• Focusing more on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into fists and also growl. The objective is to enable him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you earlier that positive parenting benefits every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens as well as everyone in between. So let’s think about teenagers in our next example … Peaceful Parenting Meditation
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we wish to obtain from our child, we must want to offer before anyone else. If I am impolite, manipulative and sarcastic to my teenager merely since I “have every right given that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you think that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or father, you can set the standard and also show your teenager that you value their opinion, and you respect them as a person. Peaceful Parenting Meditation
This doesn’t imply you have to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we want our young adult to treat us with more regard, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Peaceful Parenting Meditation
Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer support representative on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be considering. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can address this with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share an individual story …
Just the other day, my 2 young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, and she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned and also returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and also asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged as well as begun playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate anybody to solve the dispute. And also yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? Peaceful Parenting Meditation
Since we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, just how to solve conflict, and also even just how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everybody around us with respect, and also model the behavior we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.
Some visitors might be wondering about my partner, Antonio, and his 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has begun parenting positively also, as well as the restoration of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.
So just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Peaceful Parenting Meditation
This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I have actually ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to change your old way of life. However little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you will not think just how much you’ve changed, together with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I recommend anybody who is serious about coming to be an extra positive mama or daddy to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Peaceful Parenting Meditation
You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media networks. Her materials have been life-altering for more than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can really use every day.
In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, as well as discover how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the complimentary class by clicking the button shown below. Peaceful Parenting Meditation
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