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When I initially became a mommy, I understood that I wanted to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mother and father did the best they could, but they really did not have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools available today. Peaceful Parenting Non Circumcision
There were a few books on our shelf about handling power struggles, how to discipline the strong-willed child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My mom and dad do not understand me.”
I’m not sure exactly what they discovered in those books, however I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of yelling, as well as a great deal of just plain tempers raging.
It was a tough number of years. And our connection is still strained today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve begun to recognize that, while nobody is without fault, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wished to break the cycle when I became a mama.Peaceful Parenting Non Circumcision
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my strategy Peaceful Parenting Non Circumcision
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest little girl was born. I began checking out material concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and basically every other typically approved parenting method.
I started to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I understand there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to have their needs satisfied. I found out about:
• Solving power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How all of these ideas lead to healthy and balanced child development Peaceful Parenting Non Circumcision
Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. However he brought his own unique perspective. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually witnessed firsthand how being the “mean father” might seem to work for the moment. Long-term, it was only promoting disrespect, anger as well as resentment in what was intended to be a loving parent-child connection.
Considering his history as well as learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining as well as employing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Peaceful Parenting Non Circumcision
Initially, let me inform you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Overlooking significant misbehavior
• Giving your children whatever they ask for Peaceful Parenting Non Circumcision
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach recognizes the fact that collaboration always yields far better long-term results than harsh control.
Parents who embrace this design have figured out how to promote:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Building a child’s fundamental character qualities
• Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … Besides, what occurs once they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be listened to as well as valued
• Helping kids to establish self-discipline
• Going much deeper than mere exterior compliance and focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t believe that there were other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as yelling. That’s exactly how I was raised, and therefore I just had no understanding about anything different. Peaceful Parenting Non Circumcision
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.
Discover the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s often easier (as well as a lot more common in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
We can progress a whole lot further toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs just like you and also me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development spectrum. Peaceful Parenting Non Circumcision
For example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet formed. That indicates they can go from cloud nine one moment to complete tantrum the next. Rather than combating a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-discipline to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is always a primary feeling beneath it
• A lot of angry children are in fact frightened and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that must be met initially. For example, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Focus on meeting that big need first.
• Validate his feelings without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re really upset since I said we could not play at the park today. I understand it’s tough since you genuinely really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if required.
• Concentrating more on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and also say loudly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and also growl. The point is to allow him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you previously that positive parenting works for all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and everyone in between. So let’s think about teens in our following example … Peaceful Parenting Non Circumcision
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to receive from our child, we need to be willing to provide before anyone else. If I am disrespectful, controlling and sarcastic to my young adult merely due to the fact that I “have every right since I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?
It is a lot easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or father, you can set the standard and show your teenager that you value their opinion, as well as you value them as a person. Peaceful Parenting Non Circumcision
This doesn’t suggest you need to be a pushover. Yet it does mean you can be kind when faced with disputes. It will accomplish more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our young adult to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Peaceful Parenting Non Circumcision
Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer service associate on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …
Just a few days ago, my 2 girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, and also she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned and returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced as well as begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate any individual to deal with the dispute. As well as yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You recognize why? Peaceful Parenting Non Circumcision
Because we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to settle conflict, and even just how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, as well as model the actions we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.
Some visitors may be curious about my partner, Antonio, and also his two adolescent boys from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has started parenting positively too, and the restoration of their connection is nothing except miraculous.
How can you become a positive parent? Peaceful Parenting Non Circumcision
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be difficult to alter your old parenting style. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or more from now, you won’t think just how much you’ve altered, along with the closer connection you have with your kids.
I advise any person who is serious about growing to be a much more positive mother or father to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Peaceful Parenting Non Circumcision
You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media channels. Her products have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.
In her complimentary class, Amy shares just how to get kids of any age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, and discover how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button below. Peaceful Parenting Non Circumcision
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