Peaceful Parenting Podcast – Just How I Used Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Behave

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Peaceful Parenting Podcast
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mom, I knew that I wanted to do things in a different way than how I was parented. My mother and father did the very best they could, yet they really did not have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Peaceful Parenting Podcast

There were a few books on our bookshelf concerning handling power struggles, exactly how to deal with the stubborn child, as well as just how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably recall thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”

I’m uncertain just what they discovered in those books, however I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, as well as a great deal of just plain losing control.

It was a challenging number of years. And our relationship is still not the best today, although I have truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve begun to realize that, while no one is without flaws, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wanted to stop the cycle when I came to be a mama.Peaceful Parenting Podcast

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer Peaceful Parenting Podcast

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest little girl was born. I started checking out articles concerning how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed with spanking, screaming, severe punishments and pretty much every other traditionally approved parenting method.

I started to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow every person to have their needs satisfied. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how every one of these concepts lead to healthy child development Peaceful Parenting Podcast

Peaceful Parenting Podcast

In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different perspective. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and also had actually observed firsthand how being the “mean dad” could appear to benefit for the moment. In the long run, it was only promoting disrespect, anger as well as bitterness in what was supposed to be a loving parent-child partnership.

Considering his background and also discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching as well as following through with positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Peaceful Parenting Podcast

Initially, let me inform you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding major misbehavior

• Offering your children every little thing they want Peaceful Parenting Podcast

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”

• Having no limits

You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach recognizes the reality that collaboration consistently produces much better lasting results than strict control.

Moms and dads who adopt this concept have learned to cultivate:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Establishing healthy limits

• Building a child’s foundational character and morals

Helping children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not because they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Nevertheless, what occurs once they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be listened to and also valued

• Encouraging kids to establish self-restraint

• Going much deeper than plain exterior compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially started down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t picture that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also screaming. That’s exactly how I was raised, and therefore I just had no understanding about anything different. Peaceful Parenting Podcast

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.

Below are a couple of the methods Amy teaches to encourage you to become the mom or dad you have actually always intended to be, and help your child to reach his or her complete potential.

Identify the root of the behavior

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s frequently simpler (as well as more typical in today’s world) to think children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.

We can progress a lot further toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs just like you as well as me. And also many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development spectrum. Peaceful Parenting Podcast

A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet matured. That suggests they can go from cloud nine one moment to major meltdown the next. So instead of battling a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is typically a main emotion beneath it

• Most upset children are in fact anxious and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that need to be addressed initially. As an example, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Concentrate on addressing that large need initially.

• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really angry due to the fact that I said we could not go to the park today. I recognize it’s hard since you genuinely wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I won’t allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if necessary.

• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a large hug and say “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and also growl. The goal is to permit him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting benefits every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everyone in between. So let’s use teenagers in our following scenario … Peaceful Parenting Podcast

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we want to receive from our child, we must be eager to offer. If I am rude, manipulative and sarcastic to my young adult just due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?

It is a lot easier to provide respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mama or father, you can set the example as well as show your young adult that you value their point of view, as well as you appreciate them as a person. Peaceful Parenting Podcast

This doesn’t mean you need to be a pushover. But it does imply you can be kind when faced with conflict. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our teenager to treat us with more respect, the initial step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Peaceful Parenting Podcast

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer support representative on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking about. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can answer this one with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …

Just recently, my two girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned and returned the stolen sticker, said sorry and also asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced as well as started playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate anybody to resolve the conflict. And also yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You recognize why? Peaceful Parenting Podcast

Since we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, just how to resolve conflict, and also even how to say sorry. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everybody around us with respect, and model the habits we want, you would be amazed at what’s possible.

Some visitors could be wondering about my husband, Antonio, as well as his 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has started parenting positively too, as well as the restoration of their connection is nothing except a miracle.

Exactly how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Peaceful Parenting Podcast

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I have actually ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to change your old ways. However little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or more from now, you won’t believe how much you have actually transformed, in addition to the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I advise anybody who is serious about coming to be a more positive mom or daddy to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Peaceful Parenting Podcast

You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her products have been life-altering for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.

In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, and find out how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button shown below. Peaceful Parenting Podcast


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