Peeing On Floor – Exactly How I Applied Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Listen

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Peeing On Floor
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mommy, I knew that I wanted to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best they could, yet they didn’t have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools offered today. Peeing On Floor

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf concerning taking care of power struggles, how to deal with the stubborn child, and also exactly how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”

I’m unsure what exactly they learned in those books, however I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of shouting, and also a lot of just plain blowing up.

It was a hard period of time. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually come to recognize that, while nobody is without fault, it is our duty to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to break the cycle when I became a mama.Peeing On Floor

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer Peeing On Floor

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest child was born. I started reading articles about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed with spanking, screaming, extreme punishments and also practically every other generally approved parenting method.

I started to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to have their needs satisfied. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Solving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how every one of these concepts lead to healthy child development Peeing On Floor

Peeing On Floor

During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different perspective. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and had actually witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean father” might seem to benefit temporarily. Long-term, it was only promoting disrespect, anger and also bitterness in what was supposed to be a loving parent-child connection.

Given his history and also discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying as well as implementing positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyway? Peeing On Floor

Let me tell you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Ignoring major wrongdoing

• Providing your children everything they want Peeing On Floor

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “real life”

• Having no limits

You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the fact that cooperation always generates far better lasting outcomes than harsh control.

Parents that adopt this concept have actually learned to promote:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced boundaries

• Developing a child’s fundamental character traits

Assisting children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Besides, what takes place once they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be heard as well as valued

• Helping kids to develop self-restraint

• Going much deeper than simple outward conformity and concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and shouting. That’s how I was treated as a child, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. Peeing On Floor

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually served as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Below are a number of the methods Amy shares to encourage you to come to be the mama or dad you have actually always intended to be, and assist your child to reach his or her full potential.

Identify the root of the behavior

I mentioned this is deep. It’s typically widely accepted (and also a lot more typical in today’s world) to think children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

We can get a great deal farther toward solving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs similar to you as well as me. And most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. Peeing On Floor

A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from joyful one moment to complete tantrum the next. So rather than dealing with a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-restraint to start with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is always a main feeling under it

• Most upset children are in fact scared and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that must be met initially. As an example, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Concentrate on meeting that huge need initially.

• Validate his feelings without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I understand it’s tough since you genuinely want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if needed.

• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a huge hug and say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands into clenched fists and growl. The goal is to allow him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting benefits any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everything in between. So let’s use teenagers in our following scenario … Peeing On Floor

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we want to receive from our child, we should be ready to give. If I am impolite, controlling as well as sarcastic to my young adult simply since I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?

It is much easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or dad, you can set the example and show your teen that you value their opinion, and you respect them as an individual. Peeing On Floor

This does not indicate you need to be a pushover. It does suggest you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will accomplish a lot more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we want our teenager to treat us with more respect, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. Peeing On Floor

Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer care rep on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking of. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could address this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …

Just a few days ago, my 2 daughters were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, as well as she said she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned as well as returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and also requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and started playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten anybody to resolve the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You recognize why? Peeing On Floor

Since we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to fix disputes, as well as even just how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with every person around us with respect, and model the habits we desire, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some visitors may be wondering about my other half, Antonio, and also his two teenage sons from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has started parenting positively also, and the repair of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.

So how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Peeing On Floor

This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be hard to alter your old parenting style. Little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or two from now, you will not believe how much you have actually altered, together with the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I advise any individual that is serious about becoming a more positive mommy or daddy to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Peeing On Floor

You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media networks. Her materials have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.

In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares just how to get kids of any age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and also discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the totally free webinar by clicking the button below. Peeing On Floor


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