Picky Eater Baby – Exactly How I Used Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Picky Eater Baby
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mama, I understood that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mother and father did the very best they could, but they didn’t have access to the wide variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Picky Eater Baby

There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning taking care of power struggles, just how to control the strong-willed child, and also exactly how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My parents don’t understand me.”

I’m uncertain what exactly they learned in those books, but I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, and also a great deal of just plain losing control.

It was a difficult period of time. And our relationship is still not the best today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually begun to recognize that, while nobody is perfect, it is our responsibility to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mommy.Picky Eater Baby

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my solution Picky Eater Baby

My own experience with positive parenting started when my first child was born. I began checking out blogs about just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, shouting, severe punishments and also virtually every other traditionally approved parenting technique.

I began to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to get their needs satisfied. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how every one of these ideas result in healthy and balanced child development Picky Eater Baby

Picky Eater Baby

During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different perspective. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and had actually observed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” may appear to work for the moment. In the long run, it was only promoting disrespect, contempt as well as resentment in what was intended to be a caring parent-child connection.

Considering his history and finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying and also implementing positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyway? Picky Eater Baby

Initially, let me inform you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Disregarding major wrongdoing

• Offering your children everything they ask for Picky Eater Baby

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no limitations

You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method recognizes the fact that collaboration always yields much better long-lasting outcomes than harsh control.

Moms and dads that adopt this concept have actually figured out how to promote:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Establishing healthy and balanced limits

• Building a child’s foundational character traits

Helping children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … Besides, what takes place as soon as they’re adults and the threat of punishment is eliminated?

• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be heard as well as valued

• Encouraging kids to grow their self-discipline

• Going deeper than mere outside compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t imagine that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also screaming. That’s just how I was raised, and I just had no framework for anything different. Picky Eater Baby

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.

Right here are a couple of the strategies Amy shares to encourage you to become the mom or father you’ve always wished to be, as well as encourage your child to reach his or her complete potential.

Find the root of the behavior

I mentioned this is deep. It’s commonly much easier (and more common in today’s world) to think children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

Yet we can progress a lot farther towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs much like you as well as me. And also many times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. Picky Eater Baby

For example, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet formed. That suggests they can go from cloud nine one moment to major tantrum the next. Rather than combating a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is always a main emotion beneath it

• Many mad children are in fact frightened and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that have to be met initially. For example, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Focus on addressing that big need first.

• Empathize with his emotions without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really upset since I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I recognize it’s hard because you genuinely really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if needed.

• Focusing more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into fists and also growl. The goal is to allow him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting helps every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and also everyone in between. So let’s think about young adults in our next scenario … Picky Eater Baby

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we intend to obtain from our child, we have to be willing to provide first. If I am impolite, manipulative and sarcastic to my teenager merely since I “have every right given that I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you think that teaches my child?

It is much easier to give respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or father, you can set the standard and also communicate to your teen that you value their point of view, and also you appreciate them as a person. Picky Eater Baby

This does not suggest you have to be a pushover. However it does indicate you can be kind despite conflict. It will accomplish a lot more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our teen to treat us with more respect, the initial step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Picky Eater Baby

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer support representative on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking about. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …

Just the other day, my two girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned and also returned the stolen sticker, said sorry and also asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and also begun playing once again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate anyone to resolve the problem. And yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You recognize why? Picky Eater Baby

Because we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to settle conflict, as well as even how to apologize. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everybody around us with respect, and model the habits we want, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.

Some visitors might be wondering about my husband, Antonio, as well as his 2 teenage sons from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, and also the repair of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.

So just how can you come to be a positive parent? Picky Eater Baby

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be tough to alter your old way of life. However bit by bit, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or more from now, you will not believe just how much you have actually altered, together with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I recommend anyone that is serious about growing to be an extra positive mom or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Picky Eater Baby

You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any number of media networks. Her products have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.

In her complimentary class, Amy shares how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, and find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button shown below. Picky Eater Baby


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