Picky Eater Games – Exactly How I Applied Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Behave

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Picky Eater Games
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mom, I recognized that I wanted to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the very best they could, however they didn’t have accessibility to the variety of positive parenting tools offered today. Picky Eater Games

There were a couple of books on our shelf regarding managing power struggles, exactly how to deal with the stubborn child, as well as how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I definitely remember thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure exactly what they learned in those books, however I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of shouting, and a lot of just plain tempers raging.

It was a challenging period of time. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve come to realize that, while no person is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to break the cycle when I became a mommy.Picky Eater Games

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer Picky Eater Games

My own experience with positive parenting started when my first little girl was born. I started checking out material concerning how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, screaming, extreme punishments and practically every other typically accepted parenting technique.

I began to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I realize there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to have their needs fulfilled. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Handling power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How all of these ideas lead to healthy and balanced child development Picky Eater Games

Picky Eater Games

In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and had observed firsthand how being the “mean father” may appear to benefit temporarily. Long-term, it was just promoting disrespect, contempt as well as resentment in what was intended to be a loving parent-child relationship.

Considering his background and also learning specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying and applying positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyway? Picky Eater Games

Let me tell you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a passive parent

• Ignoring major misbehavior

• Giving your children everything they ask for Picky Eater Games

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no boundaries

You might hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the truth that cooperation consistently yields much better long-term outcomes than harsh control.

Parents who adopt this concept have actually figured out how to cultivate:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced limits

• Developing a child’s foundational character qualities

Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … Besides, what happens once they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is removed?

• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be listened to as well as valued

• Encouraging kids to develop self-control

• Going much deeper than plain outward compliance and focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t believe that there were other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as yelling. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and I obviously had no understanding about anything different. Picky Eater Games

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually served as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.

Right here are a number of the methods Amy teaches to help you to become the mom or daddy you have actually always wanted to be, and help your child to reach his or her full potential.

Get to the root of the behavior

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s frequently much easier (and extra usual in today’s world) to presume children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

We can progress a whole lot more towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs just like you as well as me. And also frequently their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development spectrum. Picky Eater Games

For instance, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet developed. That suggests they can go from cloud nine one minute to complete meltdown the next. Instead of dealing with a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Toddlers have little self-discipline to start with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that means there is always a main feeling beneath it

• The majority of angry children are really frightened and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that have to be met first. For example, if a child is starving or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Focus on meeting that big need initially.

• Empathize with his feelings without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly angry due to the fact that I said we could not go to the park today. I understand it’s difficult due to the fact that you genuinely want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if needed.

• Focusing more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a large hug and also say firmly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands into fists and also growl. The objective is to permit him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting helps all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and everything in between. So let’s use teens in our next example … Picky Eater Games

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we wish to obtain from our child, we must want to offer before anyone else. If I am impolite, manipulative and sarcastic to my teenager merely since I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?

It is much easier to provide respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or daddy, you can set the example and show your teenager that you value their point of view, and you appreciate them as an individual. Picky Eater Games

This doesn’t imply you need to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our teen to treat us with more regard, the primary step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Picky Eater Games

Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer support rep on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking about. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …

Just a few days ago, my 2 young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, as well as she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned and returned the swiped sticker, apologized and also requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged as well as begun playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or threaten any person to fix the conflict. And yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You know why? Picky Eater Games

Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, exactly how to fix conflict, and also even how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everybody around us with respect, and also model the habits we desire, you would be amazed at what’s possible.

Some visitors may be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, and also his two adolescent boys from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively also, as well as the repair of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.

So exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? Picky Eater Games

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I’ve ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to transform your old parenting style. But bit by bit, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you will not believe how much you’ve changed, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I advise any person who is serious about becoming a much more positive mama or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Picky Eater Games

You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her products have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.

In her free class, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of any age to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and learn how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the complimentary class by clicking the button shown below. Picky Eater Games


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