Picky Eater Preschooler – Exactly How I Chose Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Listen

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Picky Eater Preschooler
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mother, I knew that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the very best they could, yet they didn’t have access to the wide variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Picky Eater Preschooler

There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning managing power struggles, how to control the stubborn child, and how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m uncertain what exactly they found out in those books, but I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of screaming, and also a great deal of just plain losing control.

It was a hard number of years. And our relationship is still strained today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually come to realize that, while no one is without flaws, it is our duty to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mommy.Picky Eater Preschooler

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach Picky Eater Preschooler

My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest child was born. I began reading blog posts about just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, screaming, harsh punishments as well as basically every other generally approved parenting method.

I started to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I realize there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to get their needs met. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Solving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how every one of these ideas cause healthy and balanced child development Picky Eater Preschooler

Picky Eater Preschooler

Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. But he brought a different point of view. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually experienced firsthand just how being the “mean dad” may seem to benefit for the moment. Long-term, it was only breeding disrespect, contempt and also resentment in what was intended to be a loving parent-child connection.

Considering his history and learning specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and applying positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Picky Eater Preschooler

Let me tell you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding major misbehavior

• Offering your children whatever they ask for Picky Eater Preschooler

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no boundaries

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the truth that collaboration consistently generates far better long-term outcomes than harsh control.

Parents who embrace this design have figured out how to foster:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Establishing healthy boundaries

• Building a child’s foundational character qualities

Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they do not … Nevertheless, what happens when they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is over?

• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be heard and valued

• Encouraging kids to grow their self-control

• Going deeper than simple external conformity and focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially started down the road of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as shouting. That’s exactly how I was parented, and therefore I obviously had no understanding about anything different. Picky Eater Preschooler

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually acted as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.

Here are a number of the methods Amy reveals to help you to come to be the mother or father you have actually always wished to be, and encourage your child to reach his or her complete potential.

Find the root of the acting out

I told you this is deep. It’s typically widely accepted (and also much more usual in today’s world) to assume children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

But we can get a whole lot more toward solving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs much like you and also me. And most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Picky Eater Preschooler

For example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-discipline) is not yet matured. That means they can go from delighted one minute to complete meltdown the next. So rather than dealing with a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-restraint to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is typically a primary feeling underneath it

• Most angry children are actually scared and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that need to be addressed first. As an example, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Focus on meeting that big need initially.

• Empathize with his feelings without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad due to the fact that I said we could not play at the park today. I understand it’s tough because you genuinely really want to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if necessary.

• Concentrating more on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a big hug and also say loudly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into fists and also growl. The goal is to enable him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everything in between. So let’s think about teens in our following scenario … Picky Eater Preschooler

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we intend to obtain from our child, we have to be willing to provide first. If I am impolite, controlling and sarcastic to my teen merely because I “have every right given that I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you assume that communicates to my child?

It is a lot easier to provide respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or daddy, you can set the standard and also communicate to your teenager that you value their opinion, as well as you value them as a person. Picky Eater Preschooler

This does not suggest you have to be a pushover. Yet it does suggest you can be kind when faced with conflict. It will accomplish more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we want our young adult to treat us with more regard, the primary step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. Picky Eater Preschooler

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer care representative on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking of. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …

Just recently, my two young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, as well as she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back and also returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and begun playing once again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or manipulate anybody to settle the problem. As well as yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? Picky Eater Preschooler

Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, just how to resolve disputes, and also even how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will certainly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everybody around us with respect, and model the habits we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.

Some visitors may be wondering about my husband, Antonio, and his 2 adolescent sons from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, and also the restoration of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.

So just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Picky Eater Preschooler

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I have actually ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to alter your old ways. But bit by bit, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or more from now, you will not believe just how much you’ve transformed, together with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I suggest any individual who is serious about coming to be an extra positive mom or dad to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Picky Eater Preschooler

You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her products have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.

In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of any age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and find out how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button below. Picky Eater Preschooler


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