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When I initially became a mama, I understood that I wanted to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the very best they could, but they didn’t have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools readily available today. Positive Affirmations For My Parent
There were a few books on our bookshelf regarding dealing with power struggles, how to deal with the stubborn child, and also how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure exactly what they found out in those books, yet I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of screaming, and also a great deal of just plain blowing up.
It was a difficult number of years. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I have truly forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve come to realize that, while no one is without flaws, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to stop the cycle when I came to be a mama.Positive Affirmations For My Parent
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan Positive Affirmations For My Parent
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my first little girl was born. I began reading material regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, yelling, severe punishments as well as pretty much every other traditionally approved parenting method.
I began to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I realize there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow every person to have their needs met. I discovered:
• Resolving power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how all of these principles bring about healthy and balanced child development Positive Affirmations For My Parent
In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. However he brought a different perspective. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had seen firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” could appear to work temporarily. Long-term, it was just breeding disrespect, contempt and bitterness in what was meant to be a caring parent-child connection.
Given his background and finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and also implementing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyway? Positive Affirmations For My Parent
First, let me inform you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Disregarding major wrongdoing
• Providing your children every little thing they ask for Positive Affirmations For My Parent
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”
• Having no boundaries
You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the truth that collaboration always yields much better long-lasting outcomes than forced control.
Parents that embrace this design have actually figured out how to cultivate:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Setting healthy limits
• Developing a child’s fundamental character and morals
• Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Nevertheless, what takes place as soon as they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Encouraging kids to grow their self-restraint
• Going deeper than plain external compliance and focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also shouting. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and I just had no understanding about anything different. Positive Affirmations For My Parent
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert as well as creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually served as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.
Get to the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s usually easier (as well as extra usual in today’s world) to think children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
However we can progress a lot more toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs much like you and me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. Positive Affirmations For My Parent
For example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-control) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from happy one minute to complete meltdown the next. So rather than fighting a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is typically a key feeling under it
• The majority of mad children are in fact anxious and/or sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that should be addressed first. As an example, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on addressing that huge need first.
• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re truly upset since I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s hard due to the fact that you really want to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and also I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if required.
• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and also say firmly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and also growl. The objective is to permit him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting benefits every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and everyone in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our following scenario … Positive Affirmations For My Parent
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to receive from our child, we need to be ready to offer. If I am discourteous, controlling and also sarcastic to my teen simply since I “have every right because I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you assume that reveals to my child?
It is a lot easier to give respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mama or daddy, you can set the example as well as show your teen that you value their viewpoint, and you respect them as an individual. Positive Affirmations For My Parent
This does not indicate you need to be a pushover. But it does suggest you can be kind when faced with problems. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our young adult to treat us with more regard, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Positive Affirmations For My Parent
Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer support associate on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can address this with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …
Just a few days ago, my 2 daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, as well as she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back as well as returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and also requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also begun playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or manipulate anybody to fix the dispute. And yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? Positive Affirmations For My Parent
Since we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to settle disputes, and also even exactly how to apologize. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with every person around us with respect, and model the habits we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.
Some visitors may be curious about my partner, Antonio, and also his two teenage sons from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has started parenting positively as well, and also the restoration of their connection is nothing except a miracle.
So just how can you become a positive parent? Positive Affirmations For My Parent
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I have actually ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be difficult to transform your old way of life. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you will not believe how much you have actually altered, together with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I recommend any person who is serious about coming to be a more positive mom or dad to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Positive Affirmations For My Parent
You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her materials have actually been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.
In her free webinar, Amy shares just how to help kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and also find out how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the complimentary class by clicking the button below. Positive Affirmations For My Parent
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