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When I first became a mama, I recognized that I wished to do things differently than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best job they could, but they didn’t have accessibility to the variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Positive Discipline 2 Year Olds
There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning managing power struggles, exactly how to discipline the strong-willed child, and also exactly how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure exactly what they discovered in those books, yet I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a lot of screaming, and a lot of just plain tempers raging.
It was a hard number of years. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve begun to realize that, while no one is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mother.Positive Discipline 2 Year Olds
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach Positive Discipline 2 Year Olds
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first daughter was born. I started reading material concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and also practically every other typically approved parenting technique.
I started to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I realize there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to have their needs met. I learned more about:
• Managing power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how all of these concepts lead to healthy child development Positive Discipline 2 Year Olds
During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different perspective. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had seen firsthand just how being the “mean father” might appear to help for the moment. Long-term, it was just promoting disrespect, contempt as well as bitterness in what was expected to be a caring parent-child partnership.
Given his history and also discovering exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and employing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Positive Discipline 2 Year Olds
Let me tell you what it doesn’t suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Disregarding significant misbehavior
• Giving your children whatever they ask for Positive Discipline 2 Year Olds
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You might see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach acknowledges the reality that collaboration consistently produces far better long-term outcomes than harsh control.
Parents that embrace this design have actually figured out how to cultivate:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Setting healthy limits
• Building a child’s fundamental character qualities
• Helping children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not because they are afraid of retribution if they do not … Besides, what occurs when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?
• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be heard and also valued
• Encouraging kids to establish self-discipline
• Going much deeper than plain external conformity and also concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were various other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as yelling. That’s exactly how I was raised, and therefore I just had no framework for anything different. Positive Discipline 2 Year Olds
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.
Here are a couple of the techniques Amy reveals to help you to come to be the mama or daddy you have actually always intended to be, and also encourage your child to reach his or her highest potential.
Identify the root of the acting out
I told you this is deep. It’s typically easier (and also extra common in today’s society) to presume children are simply spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.
Yet we can progress a great deal more towards solving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They real needs just like you and me. And most times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Positive Discipline 2 Year Olds
For instance, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from cloud nine one moment to complete tantrum the next. So as opposed to combating a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-discipline to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is typically a main emotion below it
• Most angry children are really scared and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that should be addressed initially. For example, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Concentrate on addressing that large need initially.
• Empathize with his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely upset due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s hard due to the fact that you genuinely want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if necessary.
• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into fists and also growl. The intent is to permit him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting helps every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s think about teens in our next example … Positive Discipline 2 Year Olds
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we want to get from our child, we need to want to give first. If I am discourteous, manipulative and also sarcastic to my young adult merely since I “have every right since I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you assume that communicates to my child?
It is a lot easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or dad, you can set the example as well as communicate to your teen that you value their point of view, and you appreciate them as an individual. Positive Discipline 2 Year Olds
This doesn’t mean you need to be a pushover. Yet it does imply you can be kind when faced with conflict. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our young adult to treat us with even more respect, the very first step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Positive Discipline 2 Year Olds
Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer care representative on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking about. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …
Just the other day, my two girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and also she said she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back and returned the swiped sticker, apologized and also requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also started playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or threaten any individual to settle the problem. As well as yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You recognize why? Positive Discipline 2 Year Olds
Since we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, just how to settle disputes, and even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everyone around us with respect, and model the actions we want, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some visitors could be wondering about my other half, Antonio, and his 2 teenage sons from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has started parenting positively too, and the repair of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.
So exactly how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Positive Discipline 2 Year Olds
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to change your old ways. Little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or more from now, you will not believe how much you’ve transformed, together with the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I recommend anybody that is serious about becoming a more positive mama or dad to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Positive Discipline 2 Year Olds
You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media channels. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.
In her totally free webinar, Amy shares just how to get kids of every age to behave WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, as well as learn how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button shown below. Positive Discipline 2 Year Olds
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.