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When I initially came to be a mom, I recognized that I intended to do things in different ways than how I was raised. My mother and father did the very best they could, yet they didn’t have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. Positive Discipline For Preschoolers PDF
There were a few books on our bookshelf concerning handling power struggles, just how to discipline the strong-willed child, and just how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”
I’m uncertain what exactly they learned in those books, yet I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of screaming, and a great deal of just plain tempers raging.
It was a challenging period of time. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually begun to realize that, while nobody is perfect, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to break the cycle when I became a mommy.Positive Discipline For Preschoolers PDF
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan Positive Discipline For Preschoolers PDF
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest little girl was born. I began checking out blog posts concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, yelling, extreme punishments and virtually every other commonly accepted parenting strategy.
I started to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs fulfilled. I learned more about:
• Solving power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How every one of these ideas cause healthy child development Positive Discipline For Preschoolers PDF
In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and had actually seen firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” might seem to benefit temporarily. In the long run, it was only promoting disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child relationship.
Considering his background as well as discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and also following through with positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Positive Discipline For Preschoolers PDF
Initially, let me inform you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a lazy parent
• Ignoring major misbehavior
• Giving your children whatever they ask for Positive Discipline For Preschoolers PDF
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no boundaries
You may see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method identifies the reality that collaboration always yields better lasting results than strict control.
Moms and dads that embrace this concept have figured out how to promote:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced limits
• Developing a child’s foundational character traits
• Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they do not … After all, what occurs when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?
• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be heard as well as valued
• Encouraging kids to grow their self-control
• Going deeper than plain outside compliance and concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially started on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not visualize that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also screaming. That’s how I was treated as a child, and I simply had no understanding about anything different. Positive Discipline For Preschoolers PDF
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually acted as parenting guide to countless moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Get to the root of the acting out
I mentioned this is deep. It’s frequently simpler (as well as extra common in today’s society) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
Yet we can progress a lot more toward solving power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs much like you and also me. And frequently their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Positive Discipline For Preschoolers PDF
For example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-control) is not yet matured. That implies they can go from happy one moment to major meltdown the next. So instead of fighting a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-discipline to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that implies there is always a primary feeling beneath it
• The majority of upset children are really anxious and/or sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that must be met initially. For example, if a child is hungry or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Focus on meeting that huge need initially.
• Acknowledge his emotions without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly angry because I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I know it’s difficult since you genuinely want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if required.
• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and say firmly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into fists and also growl. The objective is to allow him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting works for all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s talk about young adults in our next scenario … Positive Discipline For Preschoolers PDF
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we desire to receive from our child, we have to be eager to offer. If I am rude, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teen merely since I “have every right because I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?
It is a lot easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or dad, you can set the example as well as communicate to your young adult that you value their point of view, as well as you appreciate them as a person. Positive Discipline For Preschoolers PDF
This does not imply you need to be a pushover. Yet it does imply you can be kind when faced with problems. It will accomplish more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we want our teen to treat us with even more regard, the very first step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. Positive Discipline For Preschoolers PDF
Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer service rep on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking of. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this one with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …
Just a few days ago, my 2 girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, as well as she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that came back and returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and also asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or intimidate anybody to deal with the conflict. And yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You recognize why? Positive Discipline For Preschoolers PDF
Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, how to solve disputes, and even just how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, and model the habits we want, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some visitors might be curious about my husband, Antonio, and also his 2 adolescent boys from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has started parenting positively too, and also the restoration of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.
So just how can you come to be a positive parent? Positive Discipline For Preschoolers PDF
This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be difficult to alter your old way of life. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or more from now, you won’t believe just how much you have actually transformed, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I advise anyone who is serious about coming to be an extra positive mother or father to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Positive Discipline For Preschoolers PDF
You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.
In her cost-free class, Amy shares how to help kids of every age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, as well as discover how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button shown below. Positive Discipline For Preschoolers PDF
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