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When I first came to be a mom, I knew that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best they could, however they didn’t have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools offered today. Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen Pdf Free Download
There were a few books on our bookshelf about managing power struggles, just how to discipline the stubborn child, and how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I definitely remember thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”
I’m unsure what exactly they found out in those books, however I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of yelling, as well as a great deal of just plain blowing up.
It was a hard period of time. And also our connection is still not the best today, although I have truly forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve begun to realize that, while no person is perfect, it is our obligation to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to break the cycle when I became a mother.Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen Pdf Free Download
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen Pdf Free Download
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first child was born. I began checking out material regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, shouting, harsh punishments as well as practically every other generally accepted parenting method.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I realize there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs met. I learned about:
• Managing power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How every one of these concepts cause healthy child development Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen Pdf Free Download
In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. However he brought a different perspective. He had two teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had seen firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” could seem to help temporarily. Long-term, it was only promoting disrespect, contempt and resentment in what was expected to be a caring parent-child connection.
Given his background and finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and also applying positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen Pdf Free Download
First, let me inform you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring significant wrongdoing
• Providing your children every little thing they want Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen Pdf Free Download
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach recognizes the truth that collaboration always yields better long-term results than strict control.
Moms and dads who adopt this design have actually figured out how to foster:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Establishing healthy boundaries
• Building a child’s foundational character qualities
• Encouraging children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … Nevertheless, what occurs once they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be listened to and valued
• Assisting kids to develop self-restraint
• Going deeper than mere outward conformity as well as focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and yelling. That’s how I was treated as a child, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen Pdf Free Download
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.
Discover the root of the behavior
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s typically much easier (as well as more common in today’s world) to assume children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.
We can get a whole lot further toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They real needs much like you and me. And often times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen Pdf Free Download
A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet matured. That suggests they can go from cloud nine one moment to complete meltdown the next. So as opposed to battling a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that suggests there is typically a primary emotion below it
• Most angry children are actually scared and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any basic needs that need to be addressed first. For instance, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that large need first.
• Acknowledge his emotions without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re truly mad since I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s tough because you really really want to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if necessary.
• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into fists and growl. The goal is to permit him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you earlier that positive parenting works for every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and also everyone in between. So let’s think about teenagers in our following scenario … Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen Pdf Free Download
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we want to receive from our child, we need to be willing to give. If I am impolite, manipulative and sarcastic to my teen just because I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?
It is much easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or dad, you can set the standard and show your young adult that you value their viewpoint, and also you value them as an individual. Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen Pdf Free Download
This doesn’t imply you have to be a pushover. However it does mean you can be kind in the face of problems. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teenager to treat us with even more respect, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen Pdf Free Download
Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer support associate on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be considering. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this one with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …
Just a few days ago, my 2 young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, and also she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned and returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate any individual to deal with the problem. And also yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen Pdf Free Download
Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to resolve conflict, and even just how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, and model the habits we desire, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some visitors could be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, and his two teen sons from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has started parenting positively too, and also the restoration of their relationship is nothing except miraculous.
Just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen Pdf Free Download
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be hard to alter your old parenting style. But bit by bit, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe just how much you’ve changed, in addition to the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I advise any individual that is serious about coming to be a much more positive mother or daddy to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen Pdf Free Download
You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media channels. Her materials have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.
In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, and also learn how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the free class by clicking the button shown below. Positive Discipline Jane Nelsen Pdf Free Download
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