Positive Discipline Strategies In The Classroom – Just How I Used Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Behave

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Positive Discipline Strategies In The Classroom
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mom, I understood that I intended to do things differently than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best they could, but they didn’t have access to the myriad of positive parenting tools offered today. Positive Discipline Strategies In The Classroom

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf regarding managing power struggles, just how to discipline the strong-willed child, and also how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m unsure what exactly they learned in those books, however I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and also a lot of just plain tempers raging.

It was a difficult period of time. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually come to understand that, while no one is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to stop the cycle when I came to be a mommy.Positive Discipline Strategies In The Classroom

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my strategy Positive Discipline Strategies In The Classroom

My own experience with positive parenting started when my first daughter was born. I started reading blogs concerning how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, screaming, harsh punishments and pretty much every other commonly approved parenting strategy.

I started to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow every person to get their needs satisfied. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Solving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How every one of these principles bring about healthy and balanced child development Positive Discipline Strategies In The Classroom

Positive Discipline Strategies In The Classroom

During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought his own unique perspective. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had experienced firsthand how being the “mean dad” might appear to help temporarily. Long-term, it was just promoting disrespect, anger and resentment in what was intended to be a caring parent-child partnership.

Considering his background as well as finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and also applying positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Positive Discipline Strategies In The Classroom

Let me tell you what it does not indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Disregarding significant wrongdoing

• Providing your children whatever they want Positive Discipline Strategies In The Classroom

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”

• Having no limits

You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the truth that collaboration always yields better long-term outcomes than strict control.

Moms and dads who embrace this concept have actually learned to promote:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Setting healthy limits

• Building a child’s foundational character traits

Encouraging children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they fear punishment if they don’t … After all, what happens when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is over?

• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be heard as well as valued

• Helping kids to establish self-restraint

• Going much deeper than simple external compliance as well as focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also shouting. That’s exactly how I was raised, and therefore I obviously had no understanding about anything different. Positive Discipline Strategies In The Classroom

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually served as parenting guide to countless moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.

Right here are a couple of the techniques Amy teaches to assist you to become the mother or father you’ve always intended to be, and encourage your child to reach his or her full potential.

Get to the root of the acting out

I told you this is deep. It’s commonly easier (and a lot more usual in today’s society) to presume children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

We can get a whole lot more toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs similar to you as well as me. And also many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. Positive Discipline Strategies In The Classroom

A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet formed. That indicates they can go from joyful one moment to complete tantrum the next. Instead of fighting a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Toddlers have little self-discipline to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is always a primary emotion below it

• Most mad children are actually scared and/or very sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that must be met initially. As an example, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Focus on meeting that huge need first.

• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really upset since I said we could not play at the park today. I know it’s hard since you truly really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if necessary.

• Focusing more on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a large hug and say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and growl. The goal is to allow him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting helps any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everything in between. So let’s talk about young adults in our next scenario … Positive Discipline Strategies In The Classroom

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we want to obtain from our child, we have to be prepared to offer. If I am disrespectful, controlling and sarcastic to my young adult merely because I “have every right since I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?

It is a lot easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or dad, you can set the example as well as communicate to your teen that you value their viewpoint, and you value them as an individual. Positive Discipline Strategies In The Classroom

This does not suggest you have to be a pushover. Yet it does imply you can be kind when faced with disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teen to treat us with more regard, the initial step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Positive Discipline Strategies In The Classroom

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer support associate on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking of. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …

Just recently, my 2 daughters were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and she stated she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back and returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry as well as requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and also started playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or manipulate any person to resolve the dispute. As well as yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? Positive Discipline Strategies In The Classroom

Since we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, exactly how to solve conflict, and also even exactly how to apologize. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will certainly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with every person around us with respect, and also model the actions we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.

Some visitors might be curious about my husband, Antonio, and his two teenage boys from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively also, and also the repair of their connection is nothing except a miracle.

Exactly how can you become a positive parent? Positive Discipline Strategies In The Classroom

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I have actually ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to alter your old way of life. But gradually, you will make improvements. And a year or more from now, you won’t think how much you have actually changed, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I advise any individual who is serious about growing to be a more positive mom or dad to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Positive Discipline Strategies In The Classroom

You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media channels. Her products have been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents around the world, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.

In her free class, Amy shares just how to get kids of any age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and also find out how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button below. Positive Discipline Strategies In The Classroom


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