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When I first became a mother, I knew that I wanted to do things in a different way than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the very best they could, but they really did not have access to the variety of positive parenting tools available today. Positive Discipline Techniques For Teachers
There were a couple of books on our bookshelf about managing power struggles, exactly how to deal with the strong-willed child, and exactly how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My mom and dad do not understand me.”
I’m not sure what exactly they learned in those books, yet I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of yelling, as well as a lot of just plain losing control.
It was a tough period of time. And also our connection is still not the best today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve begun to recognize that, while no person is without fault, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wanted to stop the cycle when I came to be a mother.Positive Discipline Techniques For Teachers
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach Positive Discipline Techniques For Teachers
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my first daughter was born. I started reading blogs regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, screaming, severe punishments and also practically every other typically accepted parenting strategy.
I began to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I realize there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to have their needs met. I learned about:
• Managing power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how all of these concepts result in healthy child development Positive Discipline Techniques For Teachers
During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought his own unique viewpoint. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” may appear to work for the moment. Yet in the long run, it was only fostering disrespect, contempt as well as resentment in what was expected to be a loving parent-child partnership.
Considering his background and discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and following through with positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Positive Discipline Techniques For Teachers
Initially, let me inform you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Overlooking major wrongdoing
• Offering your children whatever they want Positive Discipline Techniques For Teachers
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no boundaries
You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the truth that collaboration always yields better long-term results than strict control.
Parents that embrace this design have figured out how to promote:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Building a child’s foundational character qualities
• Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they don’t … Besides, what occurs as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be heard and also valued
• Encouraging kids to establish self-control
• Going much deeper than simple exterior compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially started down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as screaming. That’s just how I was raised, and I just had no understanding about anything different. Positive Discipline Techniques For Teachers
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.
Discover the root of the acting out
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s frequently widely accepted (and extra usual in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
However we can progress a whole lot further towards fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs similar to you as well as me. And also most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. Positive Discipline Techniques For Teachers
A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from joyful one minute to complete tantrum the next. So instead of dealing with a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that implies there is typically a main emotion under it
• Most angry children are in fact scared and/or sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that have to be met first. For example, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Concentrate on addressing that huge need initially.
• Validate his emotions without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re really angry due to the fact that I said we could not go to the park today. I recognize it’s hard due to the fact that you truly wish to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, so I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if required.
• Focusing too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a huge hug and say firmly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and also growl. The intent is to allow him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting works for all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and everyone in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our following scenario … Positive Discipline Techniques For Teachers
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we want to get from our child, we should be eager to provide. If I am disrespectful, manipulative and sarcastic to my young adult merely because I “have every right because I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you assume that reveals to my child?
It is a lot easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or daddy, you can set the standard as well as show your teenager that you value their opinion, and you appreciate them as a person. Positive Discipline Techniques For Teachers
This doesn’t suggest you have to be a pushover. However it does imply you can be kind despite problems. It will certainly accomplish more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we want our young adult to treat us with even more respect, the very first step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Positive Discipline Techniques For Teachers
Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer care representative on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …
Just recently, my two girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, as well as she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned and also returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry and requested forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and begun playing once again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate anybody to deal with the dispute. And yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? Positive Discipline Techniques For Teachers
Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to settle disputes, as well as even exactly how to apologize. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everybody around us with respect, as well as model the actions we want, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors could be curious about my other half, Antonio, as well as his two teen sons from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively as well, and the restoration of their relationship is nothing except miraculous.
Exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? Positive Discipline Techniques For Teachers
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I’ve ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be hard to transform your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you won’t believe how much you’ve altered, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I suggest anyone that is serious about coming to be a much more positive mama or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Positive Discipline Techniques For Teachers
You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.
In her totally free webinar, Amy shares how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and also find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the totally free class by clicking the button shown below. Positive Discipline Techniques For Teachers
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