Positive Parent Interactions – Exactly How I Applied Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Behave

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Positive Parent Interactions
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mama, I understood that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best job they could, however they didn’t have access to the wide variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Positive Parent Interactions

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf concerning dealing with power struggles, exactly how to control the stubborn child, as well as how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”

I’m uncertain just what they learned in those books, however I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and also a lot of just plain tempers raging.

It was a difficult period of time. And also our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve come to understand that, while no one is without flaws, it is our duty to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wanted to stop the cycle when I came to be a mama.Positive Parent Interactions

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my solution Positive Parent Interactions

My own experience with positive parenting began when my first little girl was born. I began reviewing articles concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, yelling, severe punishments and also basically every other generally accepted parenting strategy.

I began to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I understand there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to get their needs fulfilled. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how all of these principles result in healthy child development Positive Parent Interactions

Positive Parent Interactions

Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different point of view. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and had observed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” may seem to work temporarily. But long-term, it was just breeding disrespect, anger and also resentment in what was intended to be a loving parent-child relationship.

Given his background as well as discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying as well as implementing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Positive Parent Interactions

Let me inform you what it does not indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Ignoring significant misbehavior

• Giving your children whatever they ask for Positive Parent Interactions

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no boundaries

You might see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the fact that collaboration always generates better long-term results than harsh control.

Moms and dads who adopt this design have learned to cultivate:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Establishing healthy limits

• Building a child’s foundational character qualities

Helping children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they fear punishment if they don’t … Nevertheless, what happens once they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be listened to as well as valued

• Assisting kids to establish self-restraint

• Going deeper than simple outward conformity and also focusing on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not picture that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and shouting. That’s just how I was raised, and I simply had no understanding about anything different. Positive Parent Interactions

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and also owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.

Below are a number of the methods Amy shares to encourage you to come to be the mommy or father you have actually always wanted to be, as well as encourage your child to reach his or her complete potential.

Discover the root of the acting out

I told you this is deep. It’s commonly widely accepted (and much more usual in today’s society) to presume children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

We can progress a whole lot further towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs similar to you and also me. As well as frequently their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Positive Parent Interactions

For example, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-control) is not yet formed. That indicates they can go from delighted one moment to major tantrum the next. So as opposed to dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-control to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is typically a key feeling below it

• Many angry children are really frightened and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that must be addressed initially. For example, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Concentrate on meeting that large need first.

• Empathize with his emotions without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re truly mad since I said we could not go to the park today. I recognize it’s difficult since you really wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I will not let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if necessary.

• Concentrating more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a big hug and also say firmly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The goal is to allow him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting works for all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and everything in between. So let’s use young adults in our next example … Positive Parent Interactions

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we desire to receive from our child, we should be eager to provide. If I am impolite, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my teenager simply due to the fact that I “have every right given that I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you think that communicates to my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mama or daddy, you can set the example and show your young adult that you value their opinion, as well as you appreciate them as an individual. Positive Parent Interactions

This does not imply you need to be a pushover. It does indicate you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will accomplish a lot more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we want our teenager to treat us with even more respect, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. Positive Parent Interactions

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer support representative on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share an individual story …

Just the other day, my two daughters were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, and also she stated she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then came back and returned the swiped sticker, said sorry as well as asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and also started playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or threaten any individual to deal with the problem. And yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You recognize why? Positive Parent Interactions

Since we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to solve conflict, and even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will certainly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, as well as model the actions we want, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some readers might be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, and also his 2 teen boys from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has begun parenting positively also, and also the restoration of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.

So exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? Positive Parent Interactions

This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I have actually ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be difficult to transform your old parenting style. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you won’t think just how much you’ve changed, together with the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I advise anyone who is serious about growing to be a much more positive mommy or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Positive Parent Interactions

You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her materials have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.

In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares just how to help kids of any age to behave WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, as well as learn how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the free webinar by clicking the button shown below. Positive Parent Interactions


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