Positive Parent Memes – Exactly How I Applied Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Listen

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Positive Parent Memes
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially became a mother, I knew that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the very best they could, yet they didn’t have accessibility to the variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Positive Parent Memes

There were a few books on our bookshelf regarding handling power struggles, just how to deal with the strong-willed child, and also exactly how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad don’t understand me.”

I’m not sure just what they discovered in those books, but I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, and also a great deal of just plain tempers raging.

It was a hard number of years. And also our connection is still not the best today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve begun to understand that, while no one is without fault, it is our obligation to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to stop the cycle when I became a mom.Positive Parent Memes

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan Positive Parent Memes

My own experience with positive parenting started when my first daughter was born. I began reading material about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, shouting, extreme punishments and also pretty much every other traditionally approved parenting strategy.

I began to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to get their needs fulfilled. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how every one of these principles cause healthy and balanced child development Positive Parent Memes

Positive Parent Memes

Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought his own unique perspective. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and also had actually seen firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” may seem to benefit for the moment. But in the long run, it was only promoting disrespect, anger and also bitterness in what was expected to be a caring parent-child connection.

Given his background and also discovering exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and following through with positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Positive Parent Memes

Let me inform you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding significant misbehavior

• Offering your children every little thing they want Positive Parent Memes

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”

• Having no limitations

You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the reality that collaboration always generates better long-lasting results than strict control.

Moms and dads that adopt this design have actually figured out how to cultivate:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced limits

• Building a child’s foundational character and morals

Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear punishment if they do not … Nevertheless, what takes place once they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is over?

• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be heard as well as valued

• Helping kids to establish self-discipline

• Going much deeper than plain external compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially started down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and yelling. That’s how I was parented, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. Positive Parent Memes

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and also owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.

Below are a couple of the strategies Amy shares to help you to evolve into the mommy or dad you have actually always wished to be, and also help your child to reach his/her complete potential.

Identify the root of the acting out

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s often easier (as well as much more usual in today’s society) to presume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.

However we can progress a lot farther towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs just like you as well as me. And also frequently their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development spectrum. Positive Parent Memes

For example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from joyful one minute to major meltdown the next. So instead of dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-control to start with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is always a key emotion underneath it

• Most upset children are actually frightened and/or very sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that need to be met initially. For example, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Concentrate on addressing that huge need first.

• Validate his emotions without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really angry since I said we could not go to the park today. I understand it’s difficult since you genuinely really want to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, and also I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if necessary.

• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a big hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and growl. The point is to permit him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting benefits all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teens as well as everyone in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our following scenario … Positive Parent Memes

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we want to receive from our child, we should be prepared to provide. If I am impolite, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teen just since I “have every right given that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?

It is much easier to give respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or daddy, you can set the standard as well as show your teen that you value their viewpoint, and also you respect them as a person. Positive Parent Memes

This doesn’t suggest you have to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our teen to treat us with even more respect, the initial step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Positive Parent Memes

Are you kind to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer service associate on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking of. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …

Just recently, my 2 daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and she said she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned as well as returned the stolen sticker, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and started playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten anybody to deal with the dispute. As well as yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You know why? Positive Parent Memes

Because we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to resolve conflict, and even exactly how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will certainly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we want, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some visitors may be wondering about my partner, Antonio, and also his two teenage sons from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has actually started parenting positively as well, and the restoration of their connection is nothing except miraculous.

So just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Positive Parent Memes

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I have actually ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to transform your old parenting style. Yet gradually, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you will not believe just how much you’ve altered, along with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I suggest anyone who is serious about becoming an extra positive mom or dad to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Positive Parent Memes

You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.

In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares how to get kids of any age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, as well as discover how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button below. Positive Parent Memes


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