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When I initially became a mom, I knew that I intended to do things differently than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best job they could, however they didn’t have access to the wide variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Positive Parent Quotes
There were a few books on our shelf regarding managing power struggles, how to control the strong-willed child, and also exactly how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad don’t understand me.”
I’m unsure exactly what they learned in those books, however I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of shouting, and a lot of just plain blowing up.
It was a hard number of years. And our connection is still strained today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for what happened. I have actually begun to understand that, while no one is without fault, it is our obligation to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to break the cycle when I became a mommy.Positive Parent Quotes
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my answer Positive Parent Quotes
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest child was born. I started checking out articles concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, screaming, extreme punishments as well as basically every other commonly approved parenting technique.
I began to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I realize there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow every person to get their needs met. I discovered:
• Solving power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How all of these principles lead to healthy and balanced child development Positive Parent Quotes
During my learning experience, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different perspective. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and also had actually experienced firsthand how being the “mean dad” might seem to benefit temporarily. Yet in the long run, it was just breeding disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was intended to be a caring parent-child relationship.
Considering his background and also learning specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining as well as following through with positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyway? Positive Parent Quotes
Let me inform you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Overlooking major misbehavior
• Giving your children every little thing they want Positive Parent Quotes
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no limitations
You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the reality that cooperation consistently yields better long-lasting results than harsh control.
Parents who adopt this concept have actually figured out how to foster:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced limits
• Building a child’s fundamental character traits
• Assisting children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they fear retribution if they do not … After all, what takes place as soon as they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Helping kids to establish self-discipline
• Going much deeper than simple outward compliance as well as focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t picture that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and screaming. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and I simply had no framework for anything different. Positive Parent Quotes
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.
Discover the root of the acting out
I told you this is deep. It’s typically much easier (as well as more common in today’s world) to assume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
However we can get a great deal more toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs much like you and me. As well as most times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Positive Parent Quotes
For example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet formed. That means they can go from delighted one minute to complete meltdown the next. So rather than fighting a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Toddlers have little self-discipline to start with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that suggests there is typically a main emotion below it
• The majority of upset children are in fact scared and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that must be addressed first. As an example, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Focus on addressing that huge need first.
• Validate his emotions without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re truly mad since I said we could not go to the park today. I know it’s difficult due to the fact that you genuinely wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I won’t allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if necessary.
• Focusing more on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a large hug and say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into fists and growl. The intent is to enable him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everything in between. So let’s think about teens in our following example … Positive Parent Quotes
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to receive from our child, we must be eager to provide. If I am impolite, controlling and sarcastic to my teenager just due to the fact that I “have every right given that I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or father, you can set the example and communicate to your young adult that you value their viewpoint, as well as you appreciate them as an individual. Positive Parent Quotes
This does not imply you need to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will accomplish more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our teenager to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Positive Parent Quotes
Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer care associate on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking of. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …
Just recently, my 2 girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, and she claimed she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, after that came back as well as returned the swiped sticker, apologized and asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and begun playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate anybody to resolve the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You recognize why? Positive Parent Quotes
Because we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to solve conflict, and also even exactly how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat every person around us with respect, and model the actions we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some readers may be wondering about my hubby, Antonio, and his 2 adolescent boys from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, and the restoration of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.
So how can you become a positive parent? Positive Parent Quotes
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to change your old way of life. However gradually, you will make improvements. And also a year or more from now, you won’t believe just how much you’ve transformed, together with the closer connection you have with your kids.
I recommend anybody who is serious about growing to be an extra positive mother or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Positive Parent Quotes
You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media channels. Her materials have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.
In her complimentary class, Amy shares how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, and find out how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the free webinar by clicking the button shown below. Positive Parent Quotes
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