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When I first came to be a mother, I recognized that I wished to do things differently than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the very best they could, but they didn’t have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools readily available today. Positive Parent Solutions Reviews
There were a couple of books on our bookshelf about dealing with power struggles, exactly how to deal with the stubborn child, and also how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”
I’m unsure what exactly they learned in those books, but I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a lot of shouting, as well as a lot of just plain blowing up.
It was a tough number of years. And our connection is still strained today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually begun to understand that, while no person is without flaws, it is our duty to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mom.Positive Parent Solutions Reviews
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my approach Positive Parent Solutions Reviews
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest child was born. I started reviewing material concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, yelling, extreme punishments and virtually every other typically approved parenting method.
I started to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow every person to have their needs fulfilled. I discovered:
• Resolving power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How every one of these ideas bring about healthy child development Positive Parent Solutions Reviews
In the process, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought his own unique perspective. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had actually seen firsthand how being the “mean father” could seem to work for the moment. In the long run, it was only breeding disrespect, contempt and bitterness in what was meant to be a caring parent-child connection.
Considering his background as well as discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining as well as applying positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Positive Parent Solutions Reviews
First, let me inform you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring major misbehavior
• Offering your children every little thing they want Positive Parent Solutions Reviews
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”
• Having no boundaries
You might hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach acknowledges the reality that cooperation always produces better long-lasting outcomes than harsh control.
Moms and dads that embrace this concept have learned to cultivate:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Establishing healthy limits
• Developing a child’s fundamental character qualities
• Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … After all, what occurs when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?
• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Assisting kids to establish self-discipline
• Going deeper than mere external compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t imagine that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as yelling. That’s how I was parented, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. Positive Parent Solutions Reviews
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.
Right here are a number of the techniques Amy teaches to encourage you to come to be the mama or daddy you’ve always wanted to be, as well as encourage your child to reach his or her highest potential.
Find the root of the behavior
I mentioned this is deep. It’s frequently widely accepted (and also extra usual in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
We can get a whole lot further toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs similar to you and also me. And often times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. Positive Parent Solutions Reviews
For instance, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet formed. That implies they can go from happy one minute to major tantrum the next. So instead of battling a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-discipline to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is typically a main feeling underneath it
• A lot of angry children are in fact anxious and/or sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that need to be addressed first. As an example, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on meeting that large need initially.
• Empathize with his emotions without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly mad because I said we could not play at the park today. I know it’s hard due to the fact that you genuinely want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if necessary.
• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a large hug and also say loudly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The objective is to enable him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting helps any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everyone in between. So let’s talk about teens in our next scenario … Positive Parent Solutions Reviews
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we intend to get from our child, we should be willing to provide before anyone else. If I am rude, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my teenager simply since I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?
It is a lot easier to provide respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or dad, you can set the standard and show your teenager that you value their opinion, and also you appreciate them as an individual. Positive Parent Solutions Reviews
This does not suggest you need to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our teen to treat us with more respect, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Positive Parent Solutions Reviews
Are you kind to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer support representative on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking about. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can address this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …
Just recently, my two daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back and also returned the swiped sticker label, apologized and also asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and started playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate any person to deal with the conflict. And yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You know why? Positive Parent Solutions Reviews
Because we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to fix conflict, as well as even just how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everyone around us with respect, as well as model the habits we desire, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors may be wondering about my partner, Antonio, as well as his 2 teenage sons from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively as well, and the restoration of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.
So exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? Positive Parent Solutions Reviews
This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I have actually ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be hard to transform your old parenting style. Yet bit by bit, you will make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you won’t think how much you’ve changed, along with the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I suggest anyone that is serious about becoming a much more positive mommy or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Positive Parent Solutions Reviews
You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media networks. Her products have been life-altering for more than 75,000 parents around the world, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.
In her cost-free class, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of every age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, as well as learn how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the totally free class by clicking the button shown below. Positive Parent Solutions Reviews
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.