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When I initially became a mommy, I understood that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best job they could, but they really did not have accessibility to the variety of positive parenting tools offered today. Positive Parenting Activities
There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning taking care of power struggles, just how to deal with the strong-willed child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”
I’m unsure exactly what they learned in those books, yet I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of yelling, as well as a great deal of just plain losing control.
It was a difficult period of time. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to understand that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wished to stop the cycle when I came to be a mom.Positive Parenting Activities
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my solution Positive Parenting Activities
My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest little girl was born. I started reviewing material regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, yelling, severe punishments as well as virtually every other typically accepted parenting technique.
I started to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I know there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to have their needs met. I discovered:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how all of these principles bring about healthy and balanced child development Positive Parenting Activities
During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. However he brought a different viewpoint. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and had observed firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” could seem to benefit for the moment. In the long run, it was just promoting disrespect, anger and resentment in what was intended to be a loving parent-child relationship.
Given his background and also learning precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and implementing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyway? Positive Parenting Activities
Let me tell you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring significant wrongdoing
• Providing your children whatever they want Positive Parenting Activities
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no limits
You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the reality that cooperation consistently yields much better lasting results than forced control.
Parents who adopt this design have actually learned to promote:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy limits
• Building a child’s foundational character traits
• Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they do not … Nevertheless, what takes place when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?
• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be listened to as well as valued
• Assisting kids to develop self-restraint
• Going much deeper than mere outside conformity and concentrating on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t picture that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as shouting. That’s how I was parented, and therefore I just had no understanding about anything different. Positive Parenting Activities
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.
Below are a couple of the strategies Amy shares to encourage you to evolve into the mother or daddy you have actually always wanted to be, as well as help your child to reach his or her full potential.
Discover the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep. It’s often widely accepted (and extra usual in today’s world) to presume children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.
Yet we can get a great deal farther towards fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They real needs just like you and me. As well as most times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. Positive Parenting Activities
For instance, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from delighted one moment to complete meltdown the next. Rather than dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-control to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is typically a primary feeling under it
• Many mad children are really frightened and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that need to be addressed first. As an example, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Concentrate on addressing that big need first.
• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really upset because I said we could not play at the park today. I understand it’s tough due to the fact that you genuinely want to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if necessary.
• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a big hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into fists and also growl. The point is to enable him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting helps any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and everyone in between. So let’s use teenagers in our next example … Positive Parenting Activities
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we want to receive from our child, we have to be ready to provide. If I am disrespectful, manipulative and also sarcastic to my young adult merely due to the fact that I “have every right given that I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?
It is a lot easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mama or dad, you can set the example and also communicate to your young adult that you value their viewpoint, as well as you respect them as an individual. Positive Parenting Activities
This does not suggest you have to be a pushover. It does indicate you can be kind in the face of problems. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we want our teenager to treat us with more regard, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Positive Parenting Activities
Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer care representative on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …
Just the other day, my 2 daughters were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and she stated she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the swiped sticker, said sorry and requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and begun playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten any individual to resolve the dispute. And also yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? Positive Parenting Activities
Because we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, exactly how to fix conflict, and also even how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, and model the actions we desire, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors might be wondering about my husband, Antonio, and also his two teenage boys from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively also, as well as the repair of their connection is nothing except miraculous.
How can you evolve to be a positive parent? Positive Parenting Activities
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I have actually ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be hard to transform your old way of life. But bit by bit, you will make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you will not believe how much you’ve changed, together with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I recommend anybody who is serious about coming to be a more positive mother or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Positive Parenting Activities
You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.
In her complimentary class, Amy shares how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and also learn how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the free class by clicking the button shown below. Positive Parenting Activities
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.