Positive Parenting Behaviors – Exactly How I Chose Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Listen

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Positive Parenting Behaviors
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mama, I understood that I wanted to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the very best they could, yet they really did not have access to the variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Positive Parenting Behaviors

There were a few books on our shelf about taking care of power struggles, just how to deal with the stubborn child, as well as just how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I definitely remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m not sure just what they found out in those books, however I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, and also a great deal of just plain losing control.

It was a tough period of time. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually begun to realize that, while no person is perfect, it is our duty to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to stop the cycle when I became a mom.Positive Parenting Behaviors

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my approach Positive Parenting Behaviors

My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest little girl was born. I began checking out articles about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and also practically every other typically approved parenting strategy.

I began to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I realize there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs fulfilled. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Managing power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how every one of these ideas bring about healthy and balanced child development Positive Parenting Behaviors

Positive Parenting Behaviors

In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought his own unique viewpoint. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had seen firsthand how being the “mean father” might appear to benefit for the moment. But in the long run, it was just promoting disrespect, contempt as well as bitterness in what was expected to be a loving parent-child partnership.

Given his background as well as learning specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying as well as following through with positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Positive Parenting Behaviors

Let me tell you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding significant wrongdoing

• Giving your children every little thing they ask for Positive Parenting Behaviors

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no boundaries

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique identifies the reality that cooperation always produces far better long-lasting results than forced control.

Parents who adopt this design have learned to promote:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Setting healthy boundaries

• Building a child’s fundamental character qualities

Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear punishment if they do not … Nevertheless, what occurs as soon as they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be listened to as well as valued

• Assisting kids to develop self-control

• Going much deeper than plain outside conformity and also focusing on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t picture that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as yelling. That’s how I was raised, and therefore I just had no framework for anything different. Positive Parenting Behaviors

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Here are a couple of the techniques Amy reveals to assist you to evolve into the mother or father you’ve always wanted to be, and encourage your child to reach his/her full potential.

Get to the root of the acting out

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s usually simpler (and also more common in today’s world) to think children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

We can progress a whole lot farther toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs much like you and me. And also often times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. Positive Parenting Behaviors

For instance, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet developed. That implies they can go from cloud nine one moment to major tantrum the next. Instead of battling a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-discipline to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is always a main emotion below it

• Most angry children are actually scared and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that need to be met initially. As an example, if a child is hungry or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Concentrate on addressing that big need first.

• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really angry since I said we could not go to the park today. I understand it’s tough since you really wish to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if required.

• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a large hug and also say firmly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands into clenched fists and growl. The point is to permit him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting works for all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s use young adults in our following scenario … Positive Parenting Behaviors

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we wish to get from our child, we should want to give before anyone else. If I am disrespectful, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teenager simply due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you think that teaches my child?

It is a lot easier to provide respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or daddy, you can set the standard and communicate to your teenager that you value their opinion, and you value them as a person. Positive Parenting Behaviors

This does not mean you need to be a pushover. But it does imply you can be kind when faced with disputes. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our young adult to treat us with even more respect, the initial step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. Positive Parenting Behaviors

Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer service rep on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can answer this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …

Just a few days ago, my two young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, as well as she stated she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned as well as returned the stolen sticker, apologized and requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and started playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate anybody to settle the dispute. And yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You recognize why? Positive Parenting Behaviors

Since we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, just how to resolve disputes, and even just how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everyone around us with respect, and model the habits we want, you would be amazed at what’s possible.

Some readers may be wondering about my husband, Antonio, as well as his two teen boys from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has begun parenting positively too, as well as the repair of their connection is nothing except miraculous.

So how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Positive Parenting Behaviors

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be tough to change your old ways. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you will not think just how much you’ve altered, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.

I suggest any individual who is serious about growing to be a more positive mom or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Positive Parenting Behaviors

You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her products have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents around the world, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really use every day.

In her cost-free class, Amy shares just how to help kids of any age to listen WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, as well as learn how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the totally free class by clicking the button shown below. Positive Parenting Behaviors


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