Positive Parenting Benefits – Exactly How I Used Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Positive Parenting Benefits
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mother, I knew that I wanted to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best they could, but they didn’t have access to the myriad of positive parenting tools readily available today. Positive Parenting Benefits

There were a few books on our bookshelf about taking care of power struggles, how to deal with the stubborn child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”

I’m not sure exactly what they learned in those books, however I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of yelling, as well as a great deal of just plain tempers raging.

It was a hard number of years. And our connection is still strained today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to understand that, while no person is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to stop the cycle when I became a mommy.Positive Parenting Benefits

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my approach Positive Parenting Benefits

My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest little girl was born. I started checking out material regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed with spanking, screaming, severe punishments as well as pretty much every other traditionally accepted parenting method.

I started to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to have their needs met. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How all of these ideas result in healthy child development Positive Parenting Benefits

Positive Parenting Benefits

Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different point of view. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and had actually experienced firsthand just how being the “mean dad” could seem to work temporarily. Long-term, it was just breeding disrespect, contempt and resentment in what was intended to be a loving parent-child connection.

Considering his background as well as learning precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and also applying positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyway? Positive Parenting Benefits

Initially, let me inform you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a passive parent

• Overlooking significant wrongdoing

• Providing your children everything they ask for Positive Parenting Benefits

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “real life”

• Having no limits

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the reality that collaboration always generates far better long-term results than forced control.

Moms and dads that adopt this concept have actually figured out how to cultivate:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Setting healthy boundaries

• Building a child’s fundamental character traits

Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they do not … Besides, what takes place once they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is removed?

• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be listened to and valued

• Encouraging kids to develop self-restraint

• Going deeper than plain exterior compliance and focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t believe that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as shouting. That’s how I was treated as a child, and I just had no framework for anything different. Positive Parenting Benefits

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Below are a couple of the methods Amy reveals to help you to evolve into the mother or daddy you have actually always wanted to be, as well as encourage your child to reach his/her complete potential.

Find the root of the acting out

I told you this is deep. It’s often easier (and also extra usual in today’s society) to presume children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

We can progress a lot farther towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs much like you and also me. And many times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. Positive Parenting Benefits

A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet developed. That suggests they can go from delighted one moment to complete tantrum the next. So as opposed to battling a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-control to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is typically a main feeling under it

• A lot of upset children are really anxious and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that should be addressed first. For instance, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Focus on addressing that big need initially.

• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry because I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s difficult since you really really want to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, so I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if needed.

• Focusing more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a large hug and say firmly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and growl. The goal is to allow him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting works for every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everything in between. So let’s use young adults in our following example … Positive Parenting Benefits

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we intend to obtain from our child, we must want to provide first. If I am rude, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my young adult just because I “have every right because I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?

It is a lot easier to give respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or dad, you can set the standard as well as show your teen that you value their viewpoint, as well as you value them as a person. Positive Parenting Benefits

This doesn’t suggest you have to be a pushover. It does suggest you can be kind in the face of problems. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our young adult to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. Positive Parenting Benefits

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer care associate on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking of. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this one with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …

Just a few days ago, my 2 daughters were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, and she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned and returned the stolen sticker label, apologized as well as asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced as well as begun playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate any person to deal with the problem. As well as yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You recognize why? Positive Parenting Benefits

Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, exactly how to deal with disputes, and also even how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, as well as model the habits we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some visitors may be wondering about my hubby, Antonio, and his 2 adolescent boys from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively also, as well as the repair of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.

How can you come to be a positive parent? Positive Parenting Benefits

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be challenging to alter your old way of life. However little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you will not believe how much you’ve changed, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.

I suggest any person who is serious about growing to be an extra positive mother or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Positive Parenting Benefits

You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media channels. Her materials have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really use every day.

In her free webinar, Amy shares how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and also discover how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button shown below. Positive Parenting Benefits


Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

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