Positive Parenting For Preschoolers – Exactly How I Chose Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Listen

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Positive Parenting For Preschoolers
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mom, I understood that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best job they could, however they didn’t have accessibility to the plethora of positive parenting tools available today. Positive Parenting For Preschoolers

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf about dealing with power struggles, just how to discipline the strong-willed child, as well as how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”

I’m not sure what exactly they discovered in those books, yet I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and a lot of just plain blowing up.

It was a hard period of time. And our connection is still strained today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to understand that, while no one is perfect, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to break the cycle when I came to be a mom.Positive Parenting For Preschoolers

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan Positive Parenting For Preschoolers

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first child was born. I started checking out blog posts regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, shouting, severe punishments and also basically every other commonly accepted parenting technique.

I started to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs satisfied. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Solving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how every one of these ideas lead to healthy child development Positive Parenting For Preschoolers

Positive Parenting For Preschoolers

During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had observed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” may appear to work for the moment. But in the long run, it was only promoting disrespect, anger as well as bitterness in what was meant to be a caring parent-child relationship.

Given his history and also learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying as well as implementing positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Positive Parenting For Preschoolers

First, let me tell you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Ignoring major wrongdoing

• Providing your children every little thing they ask for Positive Parenting For Preschoolers

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no limits

You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique identifies the reality that cooperation always produces much better long-term results than forced control.

Parents who embrace this design have actually figured out how to promote:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries

• Developing a child’s foundational character traits

Assisting children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not since they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … Besides, what takes place once they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be listened to as well as valued

• Assisting kids to grow their self-control

• Going much deeper than plain outside conformity as well as focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t imagine that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as yelling. That’s how I was parented, and I obviously had no understanding about anything different. Positive Parenting For Preschoolers

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.

Here are a couple of the methods Amy shares to help you to become the mama or daddy you’ve always wanted to be, and help your child to reach his or her complete potential.

Identify the root of the misbehavior

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s usually much easier (and more usual in today’s society) to think children are simply spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

But we can progress a great deal more toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs just like you and me. As well as most times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. Positive Parenting For Preschoolers

For instance, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-discipline) is not yet formed. That implies they can go from cloud nine one moment to major tantrum the next. Instead of battling a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-restraint to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is always a main feeling beneath it

• A lot of angry children are in fact frightened and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that must be addressed first. As an example, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Concentrate on meeting that big need first.

• Empathize with his feelings without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re really angry since I said we could not play at the park today. I understand it’s tough due to the fact that you truly want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if required.

• Focusing more on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a large hug and also say firmly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into fists and also growl. The point is to permit him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting helps every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s think about teens in our following scenario … Positive Parenting For Preschoolers

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we desire to get from our child, we need to be ready to offer. If I am impolite, controlling as well as sarcastic to my young adult simply since I “have every right because I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?

It is much easier to provide respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or daddy, you can set the standard as well as show your teen that you value their opinion, and also you value them as a person. Positive Parenting For Preschoolers

This doesn’t imply you need to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our teenager to treat us with even more respect, the initial step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. Positive Parenting For Preschoolers

Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer support associate on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …

Just recently, my two daughters were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, as well as she said she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned and also returned the swiped sticker, apologized and requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and also started playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate any individual to deal with the conflict. And also yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? Positive Parenting For Preschoolers

Because we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, just how to settle disputes, and even exactly how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everyone around us with respect, and model the actions we want, you would be astonished at what’s possible.

Some readers could be curious about my other half, Antonio, and also his two teen sons from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, as well as the repair of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.

How can you come to be a positive parent? Positive Parenting For Preschoolers

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to change your old parenting style. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or 2 from now, you won’t think how much you’ve altered, together with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I suggest any person that is serious about coming to be an extra positive mother or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Positive Parenting For Preschoolers

You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-altering for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.

In her totally free webinar, Amy shares how to get kids of any age to behave WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the totally free class by clicking the button shown below. Positive Parenting For Preschoolers


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